lifehurtz

2007-10-25T12:50:00.001+08:00

i've been too lazy to blog.. too busy with my bio n business economics..

been feelin very sian recently.. coz part of me is missin..
i lost u.. where hav u been? where r u now? how can u be so heartless to leave me alone to fight this alone? how can u be so cruel as to give me up/ leave me aside for other? m i really tt useless? ans me.. i hate u.. i hate ur cruelty.. i hate ur neglience.. i hate everything tt's happenin now.. wadever promises r lies..

Say It Isn't So Lyrics

2007-09-27T22:30:00.000+08:00

argh.. sch startin real soon, n i kinda going to miss my slackin day.. hmmm.. my time table is a mess.. was told to onli hav sch for 3 days per week, end up, i hav to go everyday.. argh.. but no one to blame, cos this is where my interest lie, n onli tt sch can provide me tt.. yes, i am a student pursuin my degree in pharmaceutical managentment.. its pharmacy+business in short.. well.. wish me luck, coz i got a feelin i am going to be buried in books again..

2007-09-19T01:43:00.001+08:00

What Jeslyn Goh Seow Hwee Means

J is for Juicy

E is for Emotional

S is for Sweet

L is for Logical

Y is for Yummy

N is for Nutty

G is for Gutsy

O is for Odd

H is for Hardworking

S is for Scary

E is for Explosive

O is for Optimistic

W is for Witty

H is for Handy

W is for Warm

E is for Ebullient

E is for Entertaining

What Does Your Name Mean?

2007-09-08T19:40:00.000+08:00

Your Birthdate: September 30

You have the type of personality that people either love or hate.You're opinionated, dramatic, intense, and very outspoken.And some people can't get enough of you - they're totally addicted.Others, well, they wish you were a little more reserved.
Your strength: Your flair
Your weakness: If you think it, you say it
Your power color: Scarlet red
Your power symbol: Inverted triangle
Your power month: March

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

2007-09-07T08:47:00.000+08:00

come on, lets be frank with life.. no one will really bother to go TT MUCH DISTANCE with u.. ppl r expectin u to put in a whole lot of love but wont expect to put in that much for u.. ya, when u asked for something more, ppl felt they r nothin but ur dog tt's tryin to plz the master.. ppl juz felt that we want their companionship not a relationship.. n the joke is that when ppl say all tis, we r not suppose to be angry, not suppose to think they r humiliatin our love, cos in the first place they dun think we r puttin in our love..

i dun deny tt i am very stubborn at times, very wilful, but if u r thinkin that i am treatin u like nothing, den that's a great insult to me. den tt's where u went wrong.. how much i love u, there's no way to deny.. heaven knows, u knows i knows.. if u deny tt, den fine, i am speechless..

sometimes i am juz this bored tt i love to crack a joke to see how will u react.. nv once, u react normally.. nv once.. u r always so tense up.. n how do u expect me to believe when u r actin so suspiciously?

ya ya, blame me all u wan for me accusin u or wadever.. if u tink i nv try makin u study, nv put in my effort to help u, n onli UR FRENZ can help u. den tell me, wad r those sunday that i spend hours n hours with u at coffee bean.. r those hours redundant compared to ur time with ur frenz? i am hurt.. not like u disappointed, i am thoroughly hurt..

ya, i am always kickin a big fuss out of nothing.. but hav u ever ask me y? hav u ever ask me wad trigger me to behave like tis? NO! u nv did.. u juz take it as i fa xiao jie pi qi..
n i told u b4 its hard for me to change, n the real me is real troublesome.. u rem how u ans me? u said it doesnt matter wad type of person i am, so long as i love u, u wont mind how or wad i am.. u even told me no matter hpw long i take to change, u will wait for me.. den wad BS is tis now that u said u wont be wakin up beside me in 20 yrs? so all those tok r cock? ok, i finally understand.. tok r juz tok, promise r juz promise.. no one ever say promises r meant to be kept..

yes, u might say i am tryin to frame u or tryin to be unreasonable again, but hey, like u, i am speakin how i feel.. n now i know y u keep askin if my illness will be bak.. coz part of u, i guess juz hold on for the sake of holdin on.. juz hold on coz u pity me, coz u cant take the chance.. if u think tt i hav to lose u b4 i understand, den i guess u r wrong.. i know the feelin of bein dump, not like u who knows the feelin of dumpin ppl.. the ball is not in my court. is urs. i guess u already partially decided wad u wan to do le ba..

i tot u be different, tot u really cld go the distance for me.. but i was very wrong the first moment u told me i am not the first priorities in ur life.. from tt moment on, i knew at times i will be nothin to u.. its juz a matter of time, a matter of when.. u r smart, u like to hav many frenz n dreams.. i am the stupid one, or the naive one.. i tot by givin everythin up for u it will proves how much u meant to me.. but its nv the truth..

with regrets, tears, hurt n a foolish smile
jes

2007-08-10T20:30:00.000+08:00

hmmm... going oversea in like 2 days time.. going on sunday early early mornin.. well.. going KL, guess i will be shoppin ba.. tryin to entertain meyself, coz i tink i will be bored to death ba.. somehow juz dun feel like going.. i juz missed someone very much.. or i shld say i will miss someone very much.. a part of my life will be missin.. hopefully u will behave, take good care of urself.. make sure u eat n do ur work.. dun get punished again.. exams comin, plz plz study ya? n when u cross roads or wad, plz be careful.. u clumsy one.. yup.. rem ur promise.. rem to msg me when u can k?

well.. tt's so much abt wad i will do ba.. haiz.. so sian.. oh ya.. i was invited to testimonail match or i shld say i invited myself to testimonial match.. haha.. dun ask me how i did.. i was in a state of confusion.. i dun even know wad i did, n till now i dun even get how i won.. lol.. i got silver la.. of course silver.. with sam ard how possible can i win gold? lol.. well.. had a great time.. really great time...

went drivin today.. lol.. theres so much to understand.. n somehow my leg cramp.. lol.. very tense.. n my instructor keep gossipin to me.. lol.. so funny.. n he say i am a fast learner.. maybe second lesson can go onto road le.. yeah!!!.. but den i will hav to wait coz i am going KL till 19 august ba.. hopefully i can be bak earlier.. hmm.. i am so tired, so lonely.. so lost.. so sian ba.. hope things goes well for my bro abt his radiosurgery at KL..

tt's all from me..

2007-07-30T19:38:00.000+08:00

ppl hav always ask each other y dun u defend urself or even explain urself when u din do anything wrong..
for me, explainin myself to others seems so futile.. explainin to some juz seems like i did somehting wrong n tried to cover up.. thus i decided not to explain n juz keep quiet at times.. since explain or not makes no different, coz in the end i will still be blame over things i din do.. ya.. since theres no diff den y makes tt effort? it happens 3 yrs ago n now it happenin again.. i am too tired to explain.. since u listen to others n agree its my fault, den ok, i got nothing to say.. den take it as everything is my fault.. u r right, no o ne in this world cld be trusted, not even the one u think can be trusted, not even the one u loved.. not even the one u respect.. n now, or i shld say recently, i juz felt tt i am being used.. both in the past n the present.. i'm juz so tired over all the things tt happenin now..

U expect me to understand all the things tt happen when i dun even get to c it.. U expect me to give U freedom yet blame me for not carin for U.. U expect me to be ur gf when u dun even share the little things with me.. U expect me to trust u when in the first place u doubted my heart my love.. U expect me to understand n smile when u secretly send things to ur ex n share our little secret tt was meant to be between us with ur best frenz.. U trust ur frenz more den me.. n almost ALL, or is it all of ur frenz asked him to leave me.. n i am expected to treat it as nothing..

yes, we r no longer in our honeymoon period.. coz U no longer had tt flame in ur eyes.. U no longer spend tt enough time n effort with me.. ur frenz words meant more den me.. u wld plan a long time b4hand for ur frenz bday but seems to totally forget abt our anniversary.. u expect everything to tell u b4hand but always tell me things last min n expect me to go out.. n U juz got so unhappy when things dun go his way.. n recently, wadever i do u juz got so angry n unhappy with me.. raisin voice at me, n even forgotten my existence at times ba..

i dun really care wad ppl do to me in the past, usin me or back stabbin me.. wad matters now i s u.. but even u, even u seems like toyin with me.. coz u expect me to be free when u r free.. u onli care abt ur time, but not abt others.. u onli come find me when u needed me, when u feel vulnerable, when u are scared.. u nv needed me juz bcoz of love.. juz bcoz u love me n want me by ur side.. u need me at times.. not want me..

recently i am juz too tired to quarrel.. too tired to explain to u.. i already give u wad u wan.. wad more do u wan from me?

maybe we were not meant together.. think carefully.. we r gettin no where recently.. do u need me or want me? do u love or like everyone else juz usin me?

2007-07-14T23:35:00.000+08:00

hmm.. went to watch bowlin trainin ytd coz sam wanted to borrow my ball bag so kinda went bowlin alley with her.. den realise they were choosin committe( i dunno how to spell.. lol..).. so i hang ard, tryin to KPO.. so was listenin to y tis vertain person was choosen n so on.. den ex exco sat down with current to hav a chat like give them pointers on stuffs.. den ended up we were tokin very serious stuff n finally was able to settle some misunderstandin ppl hav of me in the 1st place due to some ppl doin xiao dong zuo.. so ppl understand the situation i am in le.. so was quite glad tt i settle tis kinda things off.. n the ex exco, did mention all the behind the scene i try to do for them n i kinda blush.. lol.. cos i dun expect anything bak, juz wanna try to make things easier n provide my help if i can.. so i was blushin.. lol..

ok.. den after tt little meetin, we went to dinner with... sam..ian..kelly..david..jason..ben n yy..
we went to mos n hav a gossipin session n as usual, i was actin like mad person.. ya.. when i say act, i meant act.. coz as many knows i am facin the most difficult time of my life.. but no one can see.. so we were tokin n tokin n went home at ard 11.. i reached home ard 12, bath n came online..

i was tokin to ian den it suddenly struck me tt in fact i am not fightin tis war alone.. though it seems tt my parents been neglectin me but hey, its onli den i realise how many real n carin frenz i hav.. like sam, she's always there for me when i needed someone to cry on n she's always the one who can see the real me who can see the tiredness in me even though i work hard n try hard to hide my real feelin.. n also i can also rely on ian who will always tell me some logic n make myself hang in there n also ben who showed me some care when we arent tt close n many many other more who tried to make me stand up strong..

ya, i admit i do cry at times while thinkin but i came to realise tt cryin doesnt help.. my bro need me strong now.. n ya, i shall hold the attitude of wadever has to come will come.. it's juz sooner or later.. ya.. so nothing in tis world can be so F up if u know there's still a tml for u.. everythin can be improve.. today might be F up bcoz u hav a wonderful day ytd, but if u treat each day as a new beginnin, everyday will be a happy day.. so dun expect wad u wan from today base on ytd.. instead, take everythin graciously as it come n b4 u know, everyday will be a happy day for u..

i learn tis the hard way n i hope no one follows my foot step...

so thx all those tt showed me care n concern.. n i know i can rely on u all when i am down, when i need some listenin ears.. thx all.. i'm tired le.. both physically n emotionally.. maybe i shld really take a step back n relax.. maybe..

2007-07-03T16:11:00.000+08:00

life can be tt vunerable isnt it? no, i am not up to complain my life or wad so ever.. but wad happened make me treasure him furthermore..

its my bro.. i dunno how to explain, but we juz found out he had another tumor, aka known as NEUROFIBROMATOSIS, at the base of his brain, in between many major n impt nerve system n blood vessels.. yes, it had grown, i dunno whether it had grown to the stage where his life is endangered now or not, but i know for sure it will be in future if its not remove..

here's the prob.. there's onli two options.. operate or not operate..
n here's the consequences for operating..
due to the tumor growin in such highly dangerous place, operation comes with risk as usual.. but tis time, the risk is higher.. 10% chance of death, 40 - 50% chance of paralyse.. furthermore, if the op is successful, in years to come, he will become deaf as there's more such tumors in both his ears nerve system.. not onli tt, his lung will get infected in future n might get pneumonia..
n yes, n op juz allow him to live longer, but not completely cure him..

now the consequences of not operatin..
in short, he wont hav to take the risk, but the chances of him livin longer will be lower..

had a tok with my little bro tt day, askin for his opinion abt whether he wanted an op not.. n he uses maple as a comparison..
he said when u get a weapon, u will want to upgrade it by usin scrolls, either 30%, 60% 70% or so.. he said by usin it u might fail or success.. at least u know u try pumpin ur weapon to higher level n use longer.. he said if nv try usin the scroll, it's like waitin to be change..
in short wad he meant was tt if he dun take the chance, even if its 10%, he is juz waitin for death..

from the way he tok to me tt day, i realise he had grown up, my little bro had grown up, he is much more optimistic den me..

ya, u r right if u tink tt i had been cryin these few days or weeks.. i tried to cry alone, coz i hav to act as if i din know how serious the consequences r, i cried at the very tot tt i might lose my little brother, i'm scared.. i'm scared to hell tt i will lost all the fun i hav in my life.. even a little quarrel with him now, i will also treasure..

i nv know how wonderful is my bro till now.. it's like a tight slap across my face.. ppl always say u will onli treasure things when its lost,so tt u will get it as a punishment as not treasurin tt person well.. i hope i wont be punish coz i rather treasure my bro now more.. i really really do..

plz, let my bro get over this hurdle..

2007-06-16T08:59:00.001+08:00

slap.. tt's wad i got from u ytd.. ur tight slap landed right on my cheek... i cried.. not thru my face or eyes.. i cried thru my heart..

u told me its not intentional.. but whether with intention or without intenion, u shldnt hav slap me.. ur slap woke me up.. made me wonder who m i to u now? m i so insignificant now tt even over a simplest n small thing u can slap me.. den wad m i to u? u r the first to slap me so hard.. u r the first to land a slap on me thru my whole life.. not even my parents.. wad m i to u now? m i really nothing in ur eyes?

u tell me u r no gd person, den wad u expect me to do? something will not be over juz bcoz u apologise.. coz wadever happen had happen n wad hurt most r those tt nv happen after wad had happen.. those words tt u nv say hurt more den those words u said..

i control my temper, even the guitar incident i also nv slap or hurt u.. y? y muz u do tt to me? n y muz u say those hurtin stuff after u hurt me? m i really tt meaningless to u?

ni de yi ba zhang rang wo qing xing le hen duo.. rang wo liao jie le wo zai ni xing li de wei bu zhu dao.. yuan lai wo de fu chu shi wo yi xiang qing yuan...

2007-06-14T10:25:00.000+08:00

tired i am...alot hav happen to me recently.. i'm too tired to even go n tink where did i went wrong again.. its juz so full of irony.. wad's life all abt? can anyone tell me? i'm not going crazy or wad, i simply juz dun understand wad do U wan from me?

i've my own mindset of thinkin, i've my own ways of lookin at thing.. y? y u juz cant let me say wad i dun feel good inside.. its simply juz an irony.. u wanted to revolve all ard me, u wanted to be the priority in my life.. i gave it all to u.. i change for u, i even forsake certain things for u.. y till now u still say i dun believe u, dun trust u? dun u know tt tt hurts too??
u wanted top priority, i gave it to u.. yet now i cant even expect similar treatment from u.. i dun blame u, coz i might not be tt impt to u in ur life.. i told myself its alright, so long as u r happy, i'll bear with it.. but hey, u r going abit far.. u wanted me all to urself, yet i am to blame for ur losst of frenz, i'm to blame for everything tt's happenin.. ur frenz, ur family, ur cca, ur studies.. with all tis ranked above me, wad do i hav left to say?

even till now, my complain to u abt the guitar incident.. ur ans of simply helpless n me being unreasonable of harpin over it, makes me simply juz woke up.. made me wonder how am i suppose to do from now where i cant even tell u tt i'm very unhappy over u playin a guitar to ur ex on her bday when tt guitar playin was suppose to be mine? i got no one to tok to.. i hav onli myself to blame.. blame for my stupidity of tryin to complain to u, hopin to grab some attention n comfort.. blame for my stubborness of not being able to let it go.. but hey, i'm a human.. u always say i nv stand in ur shoe n think, but hav u ever stand in mine in the first place? have u ever try understandin how tt feels?

in ur life, u wanted ur love one to be revolve ard u onli, U onli! but u nv intend to let ur partner be the onli revolvin ard u.. coz onli u can hav goals, onli u can hav dreams.. wads the pt of askin ppl go n hav dreams after tt person hav gave up so much for u? wads the pt of askin ppl hav dreamz onli when u wanted to hav ur space of havin dreamz n goals?

i admit i'm self centered too but u r way over it.. to u, i'm wrong in everything.. even when i told u abt my unhappiness.. i juz dun understand how u can turn ur words ard juz so tt the blame end up on my side.. u can one moment say ur patience run out, the next moment say tt u r still patience with me? i simply juz dun understand.. if u r so unhappy with me, den i wont stop u going away..

u said tt i was the one to be blame for us driftin apart.. i was the one picturin u n her, n not me n u.. but hey, hav u ever think wad trigger me to do tt? i'm always tryin to be honest to u, wadever happen happy or sad i shared with .. even when i saw my ex or wadever.. but u? u simply juz triede keepin from me.. in fear tt i might get angry.. but by doin tt u r hurtin me more den anyone cld..

by playin the guitar, u made a choice at tt moment.. i was in a war of no return.. at tt very moment, u decide who to survive, who to die.. n i'm being sacrifice.. u r not wrong tt i ought to forgive u when u said sry, but if u were in my shoes, wad will u do? wad will u do?

if u still tink i am the one at fault, ok, den i'll not say anything from now on..

MY HEART JUZ ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR SUCH THINGS....

2007-06-07T17:41:00.000+08:00

hectic day today sia..
woke up super early to go hospital for check up.. no worries, its not me who went check up, its my bro.. dun ask me wad happen, coz i not really sure too.. juz somethin wrong with his voice..
so we went ENT at NUH for his check up.. n the first thing the doc do to him is insert some funny camera thingy into his nose.. lol.. n the next thing i know was the doc say" wait for my senior.. i tink there's something wrong with his voicebox, coz they r not movin at all.."
i was damn shocked.. i tot tt when we tok, there's voice out means voice box workin, but how come his one not workin.. so i was laughin at him.. haha.. well.. but i dun really care, coz i still gotta bring him bak for MRI next week n follow check up the week after next.. so shall c how ba..

hmmm.. well.. i been hearin alot abt stuffs abt frenz, back stabbin n blah blah irritatin stuff tt everyones hates.. hmmm.. shall save up my comment.. but juz hope those ppl TRY to grow up.. TRY to be more mature.. they hav created enough nonsense n troubles among others, if by now they still dun learn n change, i can onli say their frenz will be gone.. or shld i say, will hav to be gone.. no wonder some ppl frenz dun last long.. hmmm....

kk.. gtg.. super tired after a day of travellin here n there with my stupid bro...

2007-06-04T15:56:00.000+08:00

i'm gettin tired.. real tired.. esp recently.. with all the cough n lost of voice, i cld barely espress myself out.. n tt tend to me gettin more n more temperamental i shld day..

ya, i guess i owe u an apology.. i had let out all my frustration out on u.. pin pointin every little mistake u made, or even create out a mistake so tt i can quarrel with u.. coz u r the onli person i msg n onli thru msg can i express myself out, n i know tt u r the onli one where no matter how much i scold or throw temper at u, well nv leave me.. n i guess i went over board... u nv did anything wrong, yet i was the one thrashin n scoldin u.. i know no matter how many apology i made, it not going to mend ur heart bak..

i always tot, (TOT) tt wadever i force u or control u to do r all for ur own good.. but i guess iwas wrong...
i was wrong...
1) forcin u to walk straight..
2) forcin u not to drink even thou i still tot its not good, but its in ur family, wad else can i say since family surpass all..
3) forcin u to throw away ur smelly stuff..
4) forcin u to cut down on ur salt n pepper..
5) forcin u to slp early..
n many other things..
i was more wrong to use my set of rules n regulation tt was use on me onto u..
u are nv me.. n will nv be.. u wont be able to get use to the live i use to hav...
sry, i was wrong.. i was demandin in hopin u to be able to do well in life as well as studies tt i totally neglect the fact tt u were nv me in the first place.. i wanted u to study hard n do well coz i dun wan u to be in the trouble i am in now.. no sch, no where to go n so much to be troubled.. i wan u to save going thru all tis trouble n be able to enjoy ur after A lvl life..
but i guess i made a terrible mistake.. i assume.. yes, u r right, the thing i hate most happen to me.. i ASSUME.. n i made an ass out of myself..
i hav nothing more to say for myself except tt i know clearly how much u meant to me.. crystal clear.. i dun need any words to tell u or me how much we meant to each other, coz i guess we both get the pt after going thru so much..
n 20 yrs later, i'm confident i will be the one wakin up beside u each mornin...

2007-05-15T17:54:00.000+08:00

hoho.. today PJC juz had their first day at the A div.. hmmm.. well.. i was supposed to be there at 830, but somehow i din manage to make iit.. lol.. y? coz i overslept.. oops.. haha.. coach was like askin how come i so late den reached? but i was onli late like 10 to 15 mins onli lo.. well.. ok la.. i shall not say much.. today, PJ din bowl as well as everybody expected.. firstly was the lane ba i guess.. coz all not performin up to standard.. keep missin their single pin.. n our wonderful sam, who bowl 4 consecutive strikes in the first four frames, threw away her game by endin with onli 175.. well.. u if u ask me if i was disappointed, indeed, i was very disappointed.. but hey, tt's not the end yet.. i believe she can produce better result once she's high.. i believe in her, n hopefully she can believe in herself...

so, after their games, i decided to stay on with jessie to look at how well squad D play.. so went lunch with coach n jessie, which coach blanja us lunch, a wanton mee.. not bad la, but the portion quite small, suitable for me la.. hehe... so we were tokin all abt tryin to keep in contact n stuff, n coach tryin to tell us how he kept in contact with his sec 4 frenz for like 36 yrs??!!! haha.. n alot of stuffs abt today bowlin, which i shall not say much... ( coz i forgot le!!! haha..)

den me n jessie went bak to the alley first coz coach wanna chit chat with other coaches.. so me n jessie went spyin ard.. well, i dun dare to comment on how they do la, but briefly, i tink everyone, includin PJC, din do very well.. ya.. so i was slackin ard, chattin with jessie n lookin for our past competitors.. n i managed to find ban mian.. lol.. den jessie left at ard 2 coz she got work later.. so i was slackin n watchin ppl bowl with coach n his other coaches frenz... den we saw tis guy, coach was like laughin when he bowl... not say he bowl not well.. but coach juz cant stand the way he bowl pin 10.. not even reached 10 feet n ball went gutter.. coach say lucky got gutter if not will go until lane 18...(tt guy was bowlin at lane 15 la...) den all of us was observin n he really cant bowl his pin 10..

den after a while, i realise i was in the same alley as my cousin.. well.. tt kuku guy.. he juz finish his exam den rush down.. so we stay there till 3 pluz.. den i hav to go for my drivin lesson.. so i wanted to take cab.. n my cousin, being thick skin ask for a free ride, which i agree since i am going bukit batok.. so on the cab, he was talkin on the cab den suuddenly, we were tokin abt r/s.. he told me abt his ex n how things got carried on even after the break.. so i was tellin him abt my experience n stuffs lo.. it was quite a meaninful n nice chat with him.. den suddenly somethin came to my mind.. tis fellow here knows quite alot of things.. alot of other ppl secrets.. hmm.. well.. wad the real conversation was abt, i shall not say much...

tt's all for now...

2007-05-14T19:04:00.000+08:00

omg.. i juz cant get it.. i juz dun understand... how can a person fall down two times in a day? lol.. n guess wad, tt clumsy person is me!!!!!!!!
haha.. ok.. dun ask me how i fall.. dun ask me how i feel.. coz it hurts... kk.. let me tell u wan happen..
first, i was rushin to go for my drivin lesson, so i was tryin to rush to the bathroom to bath.. den the moment i step in, i din realize my ah ma juz wash clothes, so the floor was slippery.. n the moment i step in, BOOP... n the next thing i know, all the buckets was out of my way, n my right ankle twisted n my butt hurts n worse of all, i hit the back of the head n back of my neck at the kerb of my bathroom... n tt's not the unluckiest... the worst part was tt NO ONE is at home!!! so no choice but to rub my butt n try standin up.. n i cant stand properly.. n coz of tt, i got a bruise on my ankle n its swollen...
so, i try to forget it n went drivin with someone... so everythin went well, or as i tot... so i was abt to alight from 307 n go home, tt person told me..." sure dun need me send u home? later u fall down again..." i replied,"i wont be so unlucky n stop ur itchy mouth..." so i alight, n on the way home, i was walkin down a stairs, n i saw an old aunty walkin past, so i walked to the other side to let her walked past, but the next moment i know, i was on the floor again, tis time, i cut my left knee cap n twisted my left wrist... worse of all is tt after i stand up, tt aunty was laughin at me.. i was so embarrassed tt i quicken my pace as if i am tryin to find a hole n buried my head.. argh!! so i msg tt person, i said" thanx to ur itchy mouth, i fell again..."
n i went home told my family, all of them were laughin like siao la..
tt's wad happen ytd.. fallin twice... super unlucky.. n my whole body is so painful.. esp my swollen ankle.. argh...

2007-05-10T12:31:00.000+08:00

wow... heard tt sam got into a big quarrel ytd... hmmm... well.. i shldnt comment much since i dunno wads going on...haha.. today early mornin coach call me sia... i was still slpin la.. den he asked:[ c=coach, m=me]
c: u still slpin ar?
me: (still abit blur blur) erm.. ya... (i was thinkin who the hell r u? y care so much whether i was slpin not?) den after a while i realise it was coach.. i jump out of bed...
C: so do u know wad happen ytd? care to tok?
M: erm... kinda heard abit from sam...
C: oh ya, y arent u there ytd? purposely dun wan come ar? angry with my comment ar?
M: huh? oh i was sick.. runnin a fever ma...
C: i tot u angry.. tt's y send ur sis down.
.M: sis?
C: JESSIE la..
M: oh.. haha.. ya la..
blah blah blah..n the conversation cont la...
but the main pt was tt coach was tryin to tell me wad happen.. n he was askin me wad really happen.. but i told him i dun really know wads going on... i juz briefly tell him wach n everyone prob lo.. den he say he understand.. he juz tell me tt sometime ppl wan say thing let them say.. qing zhe zhi qing ar... so whoever readin tis, plz bear in mind, if u did nothing wrong, dun be afraid.. juz ren with it k
?n coach ask me how did my honorary member come abt... luckily for me, the very fact i become a honorary member, or i shld juz say alumni was bcoz i was allowed by sch.. or i shld say sch allow? or sch ask me? i dunno which one sound better, but wad i meant was i got permission to be involved..
after hearin,
coach say: den next time, by all mean come down.. n from now on, u handle sam for me.. u juz need to handle tt one n onli one for me...
i juz replied: ok.. haha..
so from now on, i shall go down to trainin n juz focus on one person.. n i tink coach think alike as me.. the way we both look at tis matter..( if u get wad i mean)oh ya, juz a reminder, no matter who u bowlin with, the person u like or dun like, juz concentrate on ur game.. k? coz there bound to be someone u dun like bowlin with u.. tt's wad coach wan me to convey to everyone.. so ya... juz bowl ur games n hav fun.. rem y u join bowlin in the first place? to hav fun n enjoy.. tt's all i wanna say!!

2007-05-08T13:04:00.000+08:00

i juz dun understand how can ppl be so fake.. ming ming they r the one at fault y do they push all the blames to others? well.. if they tink they r so great n the team wont survive without him or her, den i guess they ought to leave.. since they dun deem the whole team seriously..
ya, sometimes ppl do qn y r they in the team or even in the exco, the few leadin.. hmmm.. well.. all i can say is each person play an impt part.. if u tink u r not impt den i guess u dun treat it seriously.. ya.. n i juz cant understand how can u treat the person tt see u as an enemy tt gave u a post so tt u can do sai gang for him as a frenz..
well.. all i can is tt u r naive ba.. naive till u believe him.. n if u r not happy tt i was there, den let me tell u, i'm there coz i'm allow to... its my legs, i decide where n wad i wanna do, so save ur comments to urself.. u r not tt great after all, stop being paranoid.. we hang out together coz we hav so much common stuffs, not like wad u say, always left u out of conversation or meetin.. well, it simply juz show u r naive, u r paranoid n no confident with urself at all.. if we cant even be with ppl tt we can converse better with, n if tt means we r gossipin or wad in ur eyes, den can i also say tt u r tellin tales behind our back? tt u purposely cause the whole team to rebel against us? can i also say tt since u r so close to some guys n tt u r purposely boot lickin them so tt they stand at ur side, since u already broke off with ur initial clique? the more i tink, the more i understand.. i understand y they is a change of clique... i also qn, we hav a divide in team, is someone behind it? i used to tink tt it was bcoz of the exco not gettin the chance to communicate... but now, i tink differently.. i started to believe it might be someone else who is tryin to break the whole team.. i might be wrong, but at the very least, i try to tink... n i dun push the blames to others.. if u dun like me to be there, fine, juz tell me.. juz stop doin xiao dong zhuo.. its disgustin..
tell ppl the truth, stop twistin n turnin, stop makin urself as the victim.. know ur position well.. do ur part of the job n it will be fine.. each n everyone do their part n it will be fine.. stop interferin into others privacy n others part of the job.. sometimes its not dun wan u to know or wad, sometimes is tt some ppl juz wan to do it even without gettin consents from others.. if u tink u are so great n one person can handle everything, den u can go other places n organise ur own team.. u r given an position n a job scope, juz do tt n everything will be fine..
n u r right, u r super fake, no wonder ppl r leavin u.. if u dun start to change, u r going to suffer.. n stop makin urself as the victim, coz u r not at all.. n wad is ur prob at me being there? i'm ALLOW to be there.. for everything tt i do, i got permission, if u r unhappy, den go tell ur teacher or principal..
its not a dunearn thingy or wad, its bcoz we look at leadership skill... the ability to lead... but i guess.. ha.. nvm.. n for ur information, i love my secondary school.. I AM NOT FROM DUNEARN... I AM A REGENITE... lol.. get ur facts right first plz..
haha.. well.. tt's all i can say ba.. learn to grow up i guess... if u really wanna leave the exco coz the exco is lousy, by all mean leave ba.. we respect ppl decision.. it simply juz mean u cant take the heat.. stop pushin all the blames to others as though they made u suffer.. grow up plz.. u r no different from SOME ppl.. n stop fuckin ard.. complainin on blog is it bcoz u afraid to do tt face to face? i dunno.. if u tink u r so great den fine with me.. we all know inside...
tt's all i wanna say.. i'm not pissed or wad, i juz wonder y now? y suddenly? n y the need to tok to every other senior? n wad does it mean tt u tok to senior too? tt u cant make ur decision? or r u tryin to throw ur captain out of her seat? tryin to prove u r better? n the way u took doesnt seems to be how u will tok..
hmmm... i guess i know the reason... i'm not tt stupid either... i guess i hav enough.. gotta go rest.. very tirede.. still runnin a high fever...

2007-04-12T16:49:00.000+08:00

wow... been slackin at home these days sia... i wanna learn to drive!!! lol.. but den i know i am freamin too much sia.. haha.. ok.. these few days been busy findin for tuition n i manage to find a few... lol...

kk.. last sunday, i went for an invitational match organise by TPJC... lol.. i can juz say i am turnin rusty sia... my bowlin sux sia.. my skill gettin worse.. my score was so much lower sia... but man, sam was like siao tt day.. she can anyhow throw n still get strike.. lol.. oh, did i forget to mention tt she emerged as the top girl for tt day? n did i forget to mention tt she was ranked 8 in overall as in when boys n girls mixed? lol.. no wonder coach is pinnin so much hope on her... well.. lets hope tt she will do well ba..

haha... oh ya, i am so going to go for coachin courses, so juz to boost my chance of gettin into uni n into my fav cca.. hmm.. guess tt much for today.. oh ya i am goin oversea soon sia.. juz cant wait for it sia... cant wait to go oversea n relax.. i think i will be away for like a mth... hehe... tioman, korea n batam wait for me!!! yeah!!! hehe...

2007-03-28T14:27:00.000+08:00

woohoo... finally i am back in action... lol..
lets see.. wad shld i tok abt it here.... hmmm...

oh ya.. i needa tok abt my f***ing phone.. cant stand it.. repair after repair.. lol.. dunno wad's wrong with it.. first, i cant pick up call.. i send it to repair... den a few days later, it totally cant send msges, cant receive msges.. it so freakin me out coz i depend so much on my stupid phone... n guess wad, i was phoneless, aka uncontactable for like near to two weeks?[ 15/3 to 28/3]
ok... so if any one tt tries to find me n u cant find me during these days, i am so sorry... coz i wasnt available for these days.. something happen to me in between too... ( for those who wish to know wad really happen to me, feel free to ask me... lol.. i promise its something superb happenin... n maybe after listenin, u will forgive me as to y i din ans ur call, y i din msg u etc etc...)

kk.. tt's was wad i tink was impt.. juz in case anyone misunderstood me as i din do anything.. lol.. ok.. so my work finally came to an end ytd.. n now, i am happily shakin leg.. n maybe i am going to learn drivin.. lol.. ( tt was wad my dad been naggin me to do.. but hey dad, i got no money how to learn? lol) kk.. somehow i tink i shld go learn, if not i am sure going to be rotten soon... kk.. n ya, i am so going to find tuition to give... n guess wad, i got quite a few lobang... hehe.. easy money sia.. lol..

wow.. so long nv bowl liao.. shld find a day go bowl.. if not i am going to rust.. yup.. tt's all for now.. going to slp again.. whahaha...

2007-02-03T23:58:00.001+08:00

..being single might not be a bad case after all..

wow... juz got bak from chinatown.. after a one few day shoppin with my mum.. juz simply cant stand her.. haha.. she juz love to go ard squeezin with ppl n do nothing but juz walin.. omg.. walk till my both leg so sore now... haha... oh ya.. at least i gain something from tis shoppin spree.. haha.. i got a tattoo juz abv my butt... but no worries, its juz temporary.. haha... i where got dare to go do the real one.. even if i wanna do the real one, i will make sure i ask the person to ma zhui me first... lol.. coz i know if i din do tt, i will scream till tt person went deaf.. haha.. so, i will hav a tattoo for 2 weeks!!! lol...

well.. my life seems so much better.. guess tis is wad i call u learn from ur fall ba... haha.. for ppl tt feels tt eze n his mum are the victims, den all i can say is i am sry k? whether its they r the victim or i am the victim, it doesnt really matter to me now.. if u tink i am selfish, so be it.. maybe its the different side of the story u heard ba... but anyway, thx for remindin me n tellin me.. i will learn.. n i can be sure, very sure, my next r/s will work better den tis, will be much more colourful den tis.. so if u r not happy with the way i blog abt my life or statin certain truth, den ok, dun come n read lo... haha... go to him, he need his frenz to be there.. dun waste ur time n my time readin wad u tink is fake or not true.. go n support him or wad so ever... i dun need ur attention here...

haha.. now, to my kuku frenz.. abt the trip to clinic, when will it be? i cant wait to hang out with u guys n gossip abt everything under the sun.. lol.. my life is so much more free now.. no baggages or worries tt i might upset ppl.. i juz feel so.. so relax ba.. maybe tis is the life i am meant for.. single, but always surrounded with frenz... in fact, i learnt tt bein alone isnt tt bad after all.. it allows u to be who u r, not who u r wanted to be.. haha..

ok ok, so in short, i am juz tryin to tell ppl who r readin my blog, if u r not happy, plz leave.. i dun mind u leavin a tag, but at least tell me who u r.. at the very least show some respect, if not, plz leave.. i will treasure every advice given with respect, so i expect respect from ppl who leave tag too.. ty..

2007-02-02T22:54:00.000+08:00

...tears dried,heart died...

28/01/07 makes the end of everything.. 8 mths 02days.. everything ended.. dun ask me y.. i juz find we r no longer suited for each other.. yes, its me tt initiated the break up..

as mths passed, i juz feel tt the initial feelin or shld i say the initial impression i hav of u juz change ba.. i always tot tt being with u will be so much diff, so much better den previous one.. but i guess i was wrong.. very wrong.. i admit, its my fault to get into a relationship so quickly w/o knowin u better.. ( i tot i knew, but i nv did..)

yes, u can blame all the fault to me, i am juz too tired to explain myself.. if u already think its my fault or i had plan this long ago, i wont defend myself, coz u hav already set an impression on me le, so no matter how i try to explain, u will think tt i am juz defendin myself.. so if u really trust n believe me, call me,den i will tell u wad really happen tt make me so upset n hurt tt my r/s got to end tis way...

let juz say tt he know very well wad he did or say.. maybe he tink is my fault, den so be it..
our prob din juz trigger off juz like tt.. it started very soon after we start our r/s.. somehow i juz feel not safe in this r/s, cos i am constantly worried abt his mum.. somehow i am scared.. his mum is his everything, n i know tt.. but its very difficult for me to keep up with wad he is thinkin, or shld i say, its very tough to reach the expectation of his mum ba... maybe its even the family gap tt we hav.. i mean he is reach, very often, ppl r mistakin me tt i am with him for his money, but hey, its not as if my dad nv give me money, its not tt i cant make my own money.. yes, i might not hav a lot to spend, at the very least i am satisfy with wad i hav.. n i dun need his money for goodness sake..

wad is gettin on my nerve is tt he is twistin facts n turnin truth ard.. i'm juz so tired of him explainin his way out, turnin a deaf ear..[ u know wad u did n said.. u chose to listen to others n doubt me.. u juz dun get the pt tt by doin so, u r hurtin n destroyin the mutual trust we hav for each other.. ] i blame no one for this endin.. i juz blame myself for givin too much chances, for lyin to myself tt tis r/s will work, though i feel very strongly tt it wont..

for tt instant, my life juz feel so lost.. i dunno wad happen to me, but i felt heartache.. i felt lost.. somehow i juz told myself, maybe frenz r wad we r meant to be.. lettin go might work best for both of us.. at tt very instant, i know very clearly, we both deserve someone better.. n there, i let go.. i lossen my hand, harden my heart.. i said it.. i let go..

ppl might think, it muz be i hav someone askin me to do so, or bcoz i found someone better, or even i rekindle bak tt spark for my ex.. well, let me say it once n for all, nothing of the above happen.. its a decision i made after days of tots..

to u:
maybe u tink tt i am juz usin TT as an excuse to break up.. but let me tell u, its not.. its a determinin factor tt make me harden my heart to do tt.. as i know if i delay any longer, we both will suffer.. maybe wad i am going to tell u might hurt, but i really hope u listen with an open heart, take it seriously but not emotionally ya...
i juz feel tt at times u r juz too naive n childish.. u seems to hav not grown up, n u tend to listen to ur mum.. i din say tt listenin to ur mum is bad, but at least listen to her, heed her advice, but think for urself can? ur mum cant possibly be helpin u make every decision.. let me juz be frank, if u cont like tis, takin ur mum as excuse n findin excuses for urself or twistin facts when things goes wrong, den i can juz say, u wont be able to find someone tt can fully love u.. coz u r not givin ppl the chance to know u completely.. n plz, dun be a ma hou pao.. dun say i shld hav done tis, shld hav listen or wad so ever after things hav happen.. if there is so many IF, den there will be nothing going wrong in tis world.. learn to learn..
at times i juz feel like i am datin ur mum.. coz our conversation is always ur mum.. somehow i juz feel i dun get to know the real n complete u.. maybe u tink i am wrong, but tis is my opinion.. my pt of view.. listen or not is up to u..

kk.. done with those, let me juz describe my life.. well.. everything is as usual after some cries, after some tears... like my frenz said... " TEARS DRIED, HEART DIED.." i finally get wad does tt means le ba.. after cryin enough tears, the heart simply got to let go no matter how hard it is.. yup, i let go le, [i tink].. life goes on for me.. happy as ever.. went to work as usual.. n my collegues r such a funny bunch.. they saw the different in my spirit n they bother to console n counsel me.. hey guys! thx there.. appreciate it alot.. they make me tell them wad went wrong.. n i started complainin n breakin down into tears.. n i realise after blabbin to them, i feel much better.. they tell me there's alot of guys out there n if really no one wans me, kor kor will wan me.. lol.. i was laughin at how gd they r at cheerin me up.. n to 'gan ma', thx for cheerin me up.. to joseph korkor, thx for buyin sweets n choc for me to cheer up.. n my jiejieS too.. thx for listenin to my complains.. how wld life be after i left my work place... i really wonder..

so for all the ppl out there tt worries for me, thank you so much.. i am fine le...
thanx for ur concern n comfort.. specially to my KUKU frenz... yup... n of course, not forgettin my family..
thank you daddy.. ty for defendin me n being so protective of me...
to mummy, ty for all ur advices n concern shown upon me...
ty ah ma, for naggin at me to think carefully of everything.. [lol]
n lastly, ty ah di boy.. thx for standin up for me, thx for tellin me tt u r always behind me in my decision n even willin to come workplace to pick me up in fear of tragedy...

n most imptly, ty U, the special u.. u juz make my life so much brighter.. thx for leavin footprints in my life... ty for being there whenever i needed u.. always ready to lend me a shoulder to cry on n an ear to listen to my grievances n complains.. thx for believin in me.. ty..

enough of my complains.. got to go..

life got to go on.. lesson learnt..
new thing found [ my family care a whole lot abt me..]
ppl understood better..
true frenz found..

haha.. guess tt i gain more then i lost ba..

2007-01-20T23:30:00.000+08:00

wow... one yr juz passed... haha.. n i onli manage to update at tis time.. lol.. kk.. i'm officially workin now... partially to kill time, n also to earn money... but somehow my pay is soooooooooooooooooooooo pathetic... lol.. its 6 buck an hr n minus CPF, its 4.80 per hr... minus transport n food.. i barely earn 100 a month... lol...
the worse thing is tt... i wanna buy alot of things....
lets c... wad do i wanna buy...
1) a levi jeans n shirt.... >>>>>> roughly $ 200
2) poison ivy baby G watch...>>>>>>>>>>> $164
3)blue PSP+ games....>>>>>>>>>>>>>> roughly $600
4)new bowlin ball....>>>>> $ 300
5) new bowlin shoes...>>>>>>$200 plus plus
6) slippers.....>>$50

n some more... haha... but i guess the list will nv end... so i guess no matter how much i earn, there's no way i can buy all... lol... so like wad my brother juz told me, i shld slp early n dream more... haeha....

okok... now, let me tok abt wad happen to me recently... hmmm... in fact hor, nothing much la... juz keep workin n workin lo...
hmmm... welll... work isnt fun at all... but the ppl i m workin with r so fun... i learn my sign languages there... n i manage to use it to communicate with one of the customer...

haha... ok... well.. my life been goin bak normal these days, but somehow, somehow, these days the past keeep flashin bak... n i hate it... i dunno wad to do with it... i guess lettin go is tough.. learnin to let go by urself is tougher ba...

i also learn tt its very hard to reach one's expectation... n UR expectation is killin me at times...

~life's fragile.. learn to treasure wad u hav b4 its gone... be happy... for everyday is a new day.. everyday is a new beginnin.. happy or sad, is up to u, but the world wont stop for u juz bcoz things dun go ur way...~

2006-12-07T22:23:00.000+08:00

well.. been feelin pretty stress up recently.. dun asked me y, coz i also dunno wads wrong with me...
i juz feel this strong feelin of stressness in me.. as if every move of wad i do is being observed by someone... everything i do recently, i juz feel so uneasy... everythin i do seems wrong...
i juz feel tt i'm not myself...
been talkin quite alot to my mum.. gettin quite some opinion from her... n i guess she's right, she hit alot of my worries n queries... ya, somehow i'm too rash into tis kind of things... somehow i always din really think deeper enough b4 i do anything... well.. if u asked if i ever regret now, i will say no... i'll juz take it as a lesson learn ba...
wadever hav to come in the future, i'll brave thru it, coz i know wadever decision i made, my family will be behind me....

tt's all for now.. will tok again soon...

2006-11-19T14:13:00.000+08:00

woo hoo!! finally!! my A has ended!! dunno how will it be, but i guess i did my best le so wont hav much to complain for any result tt's comin my way..

hmmm.. somehow i feel so lost after my A.. i mean i thank god for endin my A, but somehow going back home seems so borin.. cos last time, once i go home i'll hav to start studyin.. but now, i dunno wad to do... but luckily, my dad bought a new comp for me to use.. n now i hav 2 comp at home!! whahaha...

well... i recently mummy juz bought 2 dresses for me for prom.. omg!! i got no idea which one to choose.. one makes me super young, the other make me super mature.. haha... so hopefully i will choose the right dress durin grad nite...

oh ya... finally.. i can bowl again!! after like 3 mths!! yeah!! i shall go n bowl tml.. bowl like no body business... hehe... kk gtg..

2006-10-03T07:34:00.000+08:00

woohoo.. its been long since i last update.. haha.. coz i'm so busy!!
busy as in i dun even hav a chance to use the comp...

well.. lets c.. today i shall blog abt my BDAY!!! whaha.. spent a total of 1 n a half day for my bday..

lets c... hmmm...
friday...29/09/06 [a day b4 my bday..]
went out to meet cuiz, may n khairul...
so damn funny... 1st thing to c is tt khairul had a crumpled shirt... y? coz he slept b4 mtg us.. omg! how can someone sleep so much one?

kk.. then we went to city hall, city link to try a new restaurant...one we nv try b4..
but den, we realise we r too early... coz khai haven break his fast.. loll.. so we went walkin ard city link, suntec n marina square... we were gossipin la.. cui was tellin us wad happenin in regent now.. n we were all so turn off by the fact tt regent uniform is going to change to 'banana tree' lol...
as in the shirt is going to be change to yellow... n the pants/skirt... its going to be brown!! omg!! can u believe it!! it totally gross...
haha.. enough of tt... we went ard shoppin.. den we came to a balloon shop.. i was like sayin," hey! tt dolphin balloon so cool, so big so nice..."
of course, they were agreein to me.. n we continue walking... haha...

den it was 8 plus at nite le.. , so we went to new york new york to eat...
so me n cui went first, coz may say she got something to buy.. she drag khai along... so me n cui went to queue up.. wow.. it took so long b4 our turn... juz so nicely b4 our turn, i saw my return... with the DOLPHIN balloon on her hand!! i was so shocked.. so happy... omg.. den we went in to hav our dinner... we had a huge fish n chips... one whole chicken... calamari... n a tower onion ring.. all so cool... oh ya... n 4 extra big floats... whahaha.. n of course for our desert... we hav a stampade sundae for 4... it was like earthquake of swensen... but it has oreo n mashmallow... n guess wad, we squash all the oreo n mixed wif the ice cream... n it look... OMG... but it taste so heavenly... whaha...

we were still gossipin n laughin la.. n cui is kinda fallin in love wif the JAP JAP guy there... he is a jap guy, who look rather ok, but cui say he's cute... haha.. so we kept askin him to take pic for us... yup..
deb we ate till so late tt the ppl hav to keep tellin us there r closin soon... so we left ard 11..

woo... by the time i reached home, its already 12 plus, going one... its already my bday!!!

hehe... kk.. shall cont next time on my bday where i went to spend wif ANIMALS!!! in the ZOO!! haha... cya..

n happi 18 bday to myself!!!

2006-08-10T11:23:00.000+08:00

well well... hmmm... i guess i shldnt say much le... u r right if u tink tt i'm still on WAR with sam... yup... indeed we r... i tot our naive fight got somewad better after tt day tok... but i guess, i'm wrong... from her blog, i'm so sure tt i'm wrong... well... she's right man... she's so right... i'm jux so SARCASTIC in life... n ya, i love suanin her... but who to blame when i'm kinda born tis way? if u r so unhappy abt me, den say it out straight la... wads the pt of complainin all out in ur blog...

i admit i'm in the wrong to say tt u r naive, childish n immature... i'm sorry ok? i'm so so so so sorry k? my apology to u can... n hopefully, the next time we hav a tok, we can settle tis b4 the testimonial match on sat, coz it might really be the last time i'm so going to bowl...

u r right if u r thinkin tt i'm bowin down... coz i find no meanin in continuing tis quarrel tt leadin us to no where...

2006-08-08T12:37:00.000+08:00

haiz... we did drawin of lots again today.. coz eze sprained his ankle n many others cant make it... n guess wad, guess wad!! guess who i got!!! argh!!! its her....ITS SAM!!! coz we both cant bowl together, coz we will be crappin ard... n guess wad, tis time, it's worse... coz she's pissed with me for abt one week... coz y? coz she cant be with her fav person... her MR TQ... coz if she's with him, its totally not fair at all... n she's pissed with me for not allowin her to be with him...
can u stop being so sarcastic...
i know i'm in d wrong but u dun hav to be tt sarcarstic right?
SAMANTHA!! enough is enough... dun test my patience...
n wad did i do wrong to get u as my testimonial match doubles partner... omg!!

dun u tink u shld stop being so egoistic?
high ego vs high ego= disaster...
how? how? how am i going to bowl wif joy with such high egoistic ppl?

help me... hopefully i'm able to enjoy my last testimonial match...

2006-07-29T21:03:00.000+08:00

FINALLY I SAW HER!!!

whahaha.. finally i manage to saw the HER... yupp... if u r thinkin tt the HER refer to sam's best frenz, den u r right!! whahaha... ytd, i was havin my math tutorial in my home class... n somehow, sam's class was directly opposite mine... so she came over to find me.. n guess wad, my first qn is...
me: eh... is she in class??
sam: lol.. yup she is...
me: i wanna c her...
sam: kk.. come with me... we fake as if u r gettin stuff from me k?
me: (excited) OK!!!
haha.. so we went in... she was like sittin behind sam la... so i manage to catch a glimpse of her... wow... though its not as bad as wad i tink... but somehow, indeed, she had a superb big n broad shoulders... bigger den a normal girl la... i was like: OMG!!!... haha...
tt's not the best part.. the best part is tt at ard 930, she came out of the class cryin... sam was like consolin her... i was like laughin... ( wow.. i'm so evil..) kk... she told sam tt she was upset abt her math... but the first thing tt came into my mind was tt... " she's upset with sam... she's upsaet tt she cant hav sam... she's upset tt her heart is broken by sam.." lol... i cant stand it...i was laughin... laughin abt my tot.. n i told eze abt it n he agree... lol..

so sam.. really good luck... i really think she is.. erm.. u know...

ym... dun laugh at her la... she's very poor thing liao.. hehexx..

kk.. got to go... feelin very not well... kk.. sam.. all the best...

2006-07-27T20:16:00.000+08:00

CHICK MAGNET!!!

whoo hoo!! whahaha... these few days so super funny la... hehexx.. i was on the phone with sam on tue night.. (if i rem coreectly.. lol..) haha... she was like tellin me tis GOOD FRENZ... ermm.. no, is BEST FRENZ of her... i find tt frenz of hers SOOOOOOOOOO interestin.. lol.. let me list out some pt, maybe u will tink like me.. hehexx..

kk.. tis frenz of hers was sooo super observant... haha... she was like so observant on sam... kk.. so i was questionin if tt frenz of hers is straight... lol.. but the more sam try to list all the incidents, the more positive i'm positive tt she's not straight...
kk.. let me list all the incident down k?

1... they were havin pe... den at the third round, sam was like tellin her...
sam--s her frenz--kl...
s: kl, i cant run liao... i'm going to faint liao...
kl: dun worry.. if u faint, i'll carry u back...

2... oh.. kl drop a pencil.. it drop n landed under the chair of sam...
kl: weiqi, wld u mind helpin me pick up the pencil, i dun wish to be mistaken as a les...
(OMG!! can u believe it? haha...)

3... she was so observant abt sam's every movement... she knew tt sam was walkin weirdly... n she knew tt sam;s butt was kinda weird...
( i mean, who will go observe ppl butt... unless... erm.. ya u know... hehexx...)

4.. they were tokin abt one person in the sch tt is not straight, n tt person is kinda old la.. so.. erm.. ya... den tt kl replied:' well, i wld prefer a younger one den an old maid..." lol...

5... today, sam was complainin abt her shoulder aches n stuff.. den tt kl suddenly wanted to help her massage... omg!! omg!! haha... n also she lied on sam's shoulder durin lecture!!! omgh....

today... sam n ez they all havin instillation or wadever its called.. so they were kinda like in front of tt frenz of sam... so tt frenz, kl, said hi to sam la.. den ez was like : 'wow... she's muscular man!! lol..." n ez msg me say tt tt girl has super broad shoulders n so on... omg... ahha... n we were like imaginin the worse case scenerio.. where sam kena push to the wall by her.. n ... ya u know.. lol.. so funny... i mean how come a normal frenz treat u like tis unless its no longer NORMAL!!! so congrats sam... for being the new CHICK MAGNET!!! lol..

n to sam.. all the best, though i haven really c her, but i got strong feelin she is... n after all, both ur faces look compatible... hehexx....

2006-07-22T21:47:00.000+08:00

well well.... let me see.. hmm...
seems to hav nothin much to write abt lei...
haha.. oh... i rem... wed!!
haha... went to bowl with tt whole gang again... let me see who it consist of...
1. me!! lol...
2. sam..
3. ym..
4. hd..
5.eze..
6. lc..
7. wz.
8.tq..
9.roy..
10. ian..
11. tq's bro... so alike like tq sia.. no wonder his bro.. haha

kk, well, as usual, we were juz playin a fool la.. haha.. n tt day, my release was so er... not nice la, but i juz like tt feelin of release haha... n guess wad, i manage to win sam again... tis time, i won her 15.. omg.. i'm so going to be rich soon la... hehexx..
so after bowlin, we wanted to eat chicken rice!! but guess wad, when we go down, there was no chicken rice, left thai chicken rice... lol.. u can c from sam face... instantly, she sank into shockedness.. lol.. so funny...

so in the end we kinda left wif no choice got to go IMM to eat.. we ended up eatin KFC again.. lol.. oh no.. i'm like gain so much weight.. haha...
so as usual la.. me, sam n ian was left alone.. coz eze n roy got their parents to fetch, n ym n tt person left together la.. so left us alone.. so in the end we took a cab home, coz my head was like explodin n somehow i feel like pukin... so they so nice pei me.. yup.. tt was d day...

well.. today.. me was studyin at home, coz physics test comin... somehow i really got to study hard.. coz A is really comin... hehexx.. well.. got to end here liao.. coz eze is kinda on d phone wif me now.. n I CANT CONCENTRATE.. hehexxx.. k la.. gtg..

2006-07-17T13:51:00.000+08:00

Libra is the only inanimate sign of the zodiac, all the others representing either humans or animals. Many modern astrologers regard it as the most desirable of zodiacal types because it represents the zenith of the year, the high point of the seasons, when the harvest of all the hard work of the spring is reaped. There is a mellowness and sense of relaxation in the air as mankind enjoys the last of the summer sun and the fruits of his toil. Librans too are among the most civilized of the twelve zodiacal characters and are often good looking. They have elegance, charm and good taste, are naturally kind, very gentle, and lovers of beauty, harmony (both in music and social living) ( lol...)and the pleasures that these bring.
They have good critical faculty and are able to stand back and look impartially at matters which call for an impartial judgment to be made on them. But they do not tolerate argument from anyone who challenges their opinions, for once they have reached a conclusion, its truth seems to them self-evident; and among their faults is an impatience of criticism and a greed for approval. But their characters are on the whole balanced, diplomatic and even tempered.
Librans are sensitive to the needs of others and have the gift, sometimes to an almost psychic extent, of understanding the emotional needs of their companions and meeting them with their own innate optimism - they are the kind of people of whom it is said, "They always make you feel better for having been with them." They are very social human beings. They loathe cruelty, viciousness and vulgarity and detest conflict between people, so they do their best to cooperate and compromise with everyone around them, and their ideal for their own circle and for society as a whole is unity.
Their cast of mind is artistic rather than intellectual, though they are usually too moderate and well balanced to be avant garde in any artistic endeavor. They have good perception and observation and their critical ability, with which they are able to view their own efforts as well as those of others, gives their work integrity.
In their personal relationships they show understanding of the other person's point of view, trying to resolve any differences by compromise, and are often willing to allow claims against themselves to be settled to their own disadvantage rather than spoil a relationship. They like the opposite sex to the extent of promiscuity sometimes, and may indulge in romanticism bordering on sentimentality.
Their marriages, however, stand a good chance of success because they are frequently the union of "true minds". The Libran's continuing kindness toward his or her partner mollifies any hurt the latter may feel if the two have had a tiff. Nor can the Libran's spouse often complain that he or she is not understood, for the Libran is usually the most empathetic of all the zodiacal types and the most ready to tolerate the beloved's failings.
The negative Libran character may show frivolity, flirtatiousness and shallowness. It can be changeable and indecisive, impatient of routine, colorlessly conventional and timid, easygoing to the point of inertia, seldom angry when circumstances demand a show of annoyance at least; and yet Librans can shock everyone around them with sudden storms of rage. Their love of pleasure may lead them into extravagance; Libran women extravagant, jealous and careless about money sometimes squander their wealth and talents in their overenthusiasm for causes which they espouse. Both sexes can become great gossipers. A characteristic of the type is an insatiable curiosity that tempts them to enquire into every social scandal in their circle.
In their work the description "lazy Libra" which is sometimes given is actually more alliterative than true. Librans can be surprisingly energetic, though it is true that they dislike coarse, dirty work. Although some are modestly content, others are extremely ambitious. With their dislike of extremes they make good diplomats but perhaps poor party politicians, for they are moderate in their opinions and able to see other points of view. They can succeed as administrators, lawyers (they have a strong sense of justice, which cynics might say could handicap them in a legal career), antique dealers, civil servants and bankers, for they are trustworthy in handling other people's money. Some Librans are gifted in fashion designing or in devising new cosmetics; others may find success as artists, composers, critics, writers, interior decorators, welfare workers or valuers, and they have an ability in the management of all sorts of public entertainment. Some work philanthropically for humanity with great self-disciple and significant results. Libran financiers sometimes make good speculators, for they have the optimism and ability to recover from financial crashes.Possible Health Concerns...
Libra governs the lumbar region, lower back and kidneys. Its subjects must beware of weaknesses in the back, and lumbago, and they are susceptible to troubles in the kidneys and bladder, especially gravel and stone. They need to avoid overindulgence in food and especially drink, for the latter can particularly harm the kidneys.
LIKES
The finer things in life
Sharing
conviviality
Gentleness
DISLIKES
Violence
Injustice
Brutishness
Being a slave to fashion

PROBLEMS THAT MAY ARISE FOR YOU, AND THEIR SOLUTIONS
As with all sun signs, we all have unique traits to our personalities. When these traits are suppressed, or unrealized, problems will arise. However, with astrology we can examine the problem and assess the proper solution based on the sun sign characteristics. As a Libran you may see things below that really strike home. Try the solution, you most likely will be amazed at the results. If you find yourself on the receiving end of the negatives below, it is because you are failing to express the positive.
Problem: Finding yourself frequently trapped in situations that have no depth and little value to you or the other person.Solution: Try not to pretend feelings you do not have and find a way to back gracefully out of a superficial relationship; look before you leap.
Problem: You find that you do not really like yourself and/or beating yourself up over not being able to please another.Solution: If you learn how to please yourself without depriving others, then you will be able to please someone else.
Problem: The situations that make you ill at ease is only mildly irritating to another. Solution: Try to cultivate inner security through spiritual strength and awareness.
Problem: Feeling like you are nothing: your actions being frustrating to others.Solution: Developing your feelings of self worth by expressing the positive in your nature and not letting your elitist, class consciousness show.

2006-07-15T13:08:00.000+08:00

wad do i really wan in my life? i suddenly lost the real meanin of living in my entire life...
i use to be full of hope, full of ambitions n full of expectation..
but wad had happen to me recently? i really dunno...
i juz suddenly find life so boring...
y r the life of ppl so full of excitment n yet mine is like a total shit?
is it the way i express myself tt is wrong? is it the way i put myself tt sux?
i really dunno... i'm so like shit recently..
i got no idea y am i so sensitive to wadever thing tt happen to me tis days..
wadever look ppl give me, i will tend to think.. am i back to my old self? the one tt is always suspicious to wadeva thing happenin ard me?

n i suddenly lost the meanin of love.. suddenly i dunno am i experiencin being love? or juz a normal frenz carin? coz everytime i go out, i'm very scared... i dunno when the next storm is comin..
n whenever u asked me wad happen, i juz dunno how to tell u, coz i really dunno wad i'm feelin now.. u nid assurance, i can give u once or twice in a while, but i juz cant keep givin u assuarance every now n then... u hav ur worries, ur problems, dun i hav too? but too much assuarance juz make me felt irritated, make me feel tired.. coz if u need assuarance so often wad does it shows? it shows u have TOTALLY no trust or believe in me... since u dun trust me, den wads the point...

i really dunno... ya, u can say i'm demandin or wad, but who isnt in a relationship?
who isnt? i dunno...

n to YM...
i'm sorry if i pissed u or offended u in anyway... sorry....

2006-07-12T20:22:00.000+08:00

been feelin rather down recently... i dunno y, perhaps is my results, perhaps is something else...

lets take a look at my results ba... haiz.. one word to describe... horrible..
chem------O[35%](omg... i'm like so confident of my paper2, n indeed, i did much better for paper 2, but i flung my paper3 like hell.. not even a 20% reach...
GP-------- E8[36%] (i'm speechless...)
math----- F!!! [26%] (wad the hell... me tried so hard... i'm workin real hard.. but wads wrong? argh!!)
physics----kiv... haven get back yet...

haiz... so when i got back my results... i was devastated... or i shld say, i totally breakdown... totally... ya, n indeed i snap tt day... n the unfortunate victim is JIA HUI!!... lol... sorry jia hui... hehe.. u r juz suay... but thx for lettin me vent my anger out... thanx...

haiz... i guess i'm been feelin rather down, so dun really hav the mood to enjoy anything...
oh ya, today i saw someone, i smile at tt person, tt person juz gave me a very not happy face... omg.. wad did i do? smile also ppl dun like? hmmm.. den today on the way home, i saw alot of couples holdin hands, walkin.. i was so jealous... hmmm... mayb jealous not the right word... i guess i was envious ba... ya... i envy ppl able to hav relationship so openly, i envy girls being pampered in the arms of their bf... i envy eveything they r able to do.. i'm shattered... i'm distaughted... i'm everything but feelin good... i hate the feelin i'm havin now... i hate everythin tt i'm experiencin in my heart now.. y cant i juz hav a happy yet innocent relationship? y muz all my relationship be like tis? am i jinx to relationship?? i dunno...

2006-07-08T12:20:00.000+08:00

let me start tis entry by fillin up the last 2 paper of mine... lol...
hmmm...
physics paper1: lol.. its a sure gone case for me again... haha... i forgot all abt the r.m.s of dc circuit!! lol...
physics p2: hmm.. would be an alright paper if wad i studied come out... the prob is wad i din study keep poppin out.. lol.. n the last qn sux man.. wad the hell is it tokin abt.. look more like a gp essay.. lol..

hmmm... kk... wow... recently, my brain had gave up on me... i dunno how to say, but i juz cant think.. lol.. its completely blank.. n wadever ppl tok to me abt, i will need like a few sec or worse, a min or so to be able to absorb wad they tokin abt... lol.. guess tt always the sign of me when i juz had my exam.. coz too many brain cells dead... lol..

hmm.. kk.. lets tok abt wed... the day where i went bowlin... wow...
it was straight after my exam, so i was real happy... hehexx.. kk... so i met sam first, (as usual) coz onli us, 2 girls, going with tt bunch of guys which consist of.... tq..hd..eze..roy..yup.. tt 4... n ym came to join us after her oral... hmm... wow.. tt day i totally cld few my ball, n i'm like strikin like nobody business... haha... but the prob is i cant spare... lol... kk.. so the bet with sam still continue n guess wad, i won her 11 tt day.. wow... lol.. though she was good tt day, but i somehow seems to be better... lol...

oh ya, durin the bowlin time, i realise somethin odd between CERTAIN ppl... lol.. guess i shall not say much le, coz i'm always verysensitive to tis type of thing... so if u know wad i'm tokin abt, tt good, if u r not, den ignorant is bless... lol..

well.. enough of my crappy stuff... gtg le.. got to teach my bro his work, n be a good sis.. hopefully my brain wont give up on me.. lol... byez...

2006-07-04T08:01:00.000+08:00

hoho... guess wad.. yest i went to bowl!! wow!! finally... haha.. so happy to be able to bowl again...

hmmm... yest, wanted to asked more ppl to go bowl, but
tq & gang: celebratin tq bday, cant go...
ez: sick + certain things crops up..
ym: sick.. lost her voice.. whahaha.. so cant go..
ian: no idea y he din go, but i guess coz nobody going ba..
so in the end, onli me n sam went... whahaha..
i realise 2 of us cant bowl with each other without any other ppl ard, coz 2 of us juz look like crazy girls throwin the ball out.. haha...

so we went csc at ard 2 plus, n we r on waitin list!! omg.. haha.. so we juz sat there, n wait till ard 3 plus like tt b4 we got our lane.. so as usual, we want to anchored.. so i bowl first.. wow.. the ball seems so much heavier... lol.. kk.. first 2 games was alright, but somehow, at the third game, onwards, both of us were like crazy girl, laughin, joking... n sam juz cant feel her ball.. hahha... she want to play big C.. but somehow it doesnt work for her... (told u, u shld hav juz play J... hahah).. so she juz cant get her strike, n i'm juz like strikin without sparing with tt stupid metal thingy... wad funny is tt yest my whole release was like shit... haha.. i keep on late release n also keep loftin the ball.. sam was like...'y u wear tt meatl thingy still late release?' i replied..'how i know... haha.. it juz dun comeout...' lol.. n this kinda conversation continues quite sometime, n i guess she got tired in tellin me to release early... haha

oh, den i decided not to wear tt metal thingy, cos its causin my thumb to have blister n tt stupid metal keep rubbin on my wrist, makin my wrist so red n swollen... sam say is abrasion... dunno wads tt.. haha.. so we both got tired after the six game, n at tt time, oilin happen, n my ball cant hook at all!! argh!! so sam ended playin straight ball with a little hook.. lol..

oh ya, n also when i tried to spare pin 6 or 10, i'll pull alot, n sam say i look like someone... she kept sayin i look like tt person, n i somehow got pissed... coz i am myself, i'm not anyone!!1 argh!! anyone would be alright, except tt person!!! stupid sia... haiz...

so in the end, both of us were like sharin one game, tryin to see how good our mo qi is... so our bet of $1 continue.. haha.. its like if she threw first ball n i din spare, i owe her one n vice versa.. so we ended up saboing each other...n i manage to give her a 7-10 split.. haha.. but we ended up havin kinda like a draw.. she owe me 18, i owe her 16.. whahaha.. i still win.. lol..

wow.. i guess coach is smart.. hahaha.. smart to not put both of us as doubles partner... coz both of us juz cant bowl focusly... hehe.. both us juz like to joke n be crazy with each other bowlin stuff... lol.. haha...

kk.. tt's all for yest.. gtg tuition liao.. den got to study for tml physics paper!! argh.. i'm so not in exam mood le lo... haha...

2006-07-02T12:29:00.000+08:00

so long since i last updated, all thx to my mid yr... whahaha... let me summarise how my mid yr goes....

math p1: horrible... hehe... practically onli 1 qn i'm confident of...
chem p3: even more horrible... haha... last 3 qn practically dunno how to do... hehe..
math p2: wow.. tis one still ok den p1... at least all the provin qn i know how to do... hehe..
physics p3: omg!! tis one ar, i onli confident of the physics of fluid.. other i dunno how to do... whahah...
chem p1 &2: p1 kinda gone for me... p2 i tink can pass ba, similar like mock exam.. hehe...
physics p1 &2: haven test yet!! whahaha..

kk.. tt all for my mid yr...
let me c... oh, yesterday went to celebrate bday with my aunts... did some catching up wif them, so fun tokin to my aunts coz they r so funny.. whaha.. n my uncle treated me to some beer, n i happily accepted his offer, n in the end, i even had xo... omg, n yesterday nite, i was kinda blur blur.. haha.. now kinda havin headache... hmmm... is tt hangover? lol.. i dunno... haha....

oh ya, yest i heard from my si yi tt her frenz sis son, aged 22 hanged himself over his gf coz his gf wanted a break up... wow.. tt sound so familiar... tt was how i might hav ended kinda 3 yrs ago if it werent for my aunt n my jie... ya, after listenin to my mum, my aunts sayin how stupid sucide is, i realise indeed i was very stupid last time, but i replied to them tellin them everytime sucidial tot came to our mind, we werent be thinkin logically... ya, indeed, when something we dun wish to happen happen, we will be very stubborn , very narrow minded, our track of thinkin wld be ' y he/she dun wan me..' ' life is so worthless without him/her'' y do i bother to continue livin without him/her..' ya we will juz be thinkin tt, n before we knew, we r already hurtin ourselves... or we might even hurt ourselves, hopin tt he/ her will come back to us...
i guess tt always the naive thinkin part of us human... when we cant take the stress, the stress got us... n dying will always be our first option...

ya, i guess tt all wad i learn from yesterday ba...

Happy Birthday si yi!!! hehexx..

2006-06-25T19:28:00.000+08:00

wow... so long sincce i last blog... y? coz i cant win in snatchin my comp.. haha.. in other words, i wasnt able to use the comp... haha...

well, let c... hmmm... i'm going nuts with all the studyin.. woo hoo... so much to study... haha... i wonder how tq study... he is like god lo... haha...kinda out of point...

kk.. today went yew tee mac to study wif ym n sam.. it was a last min decision coz sam kinda called me at 9 plus where i'm still like lyin in the bed.. so i got up n wash up, n my dad today so nice... sent me over to yew tee mac n somemore he today asked if i hav money.. n gave me 50 bucks to spend... hehe...

kk, so sam was there when i arrive n ym came like 11 plus... so all three of us were studyin math... n somehow after studyin a while three of us were like tired n kinda crazy too.. so we were like gossipin... hehe... but i forgot wad we gossip abt!!1 whahaha... i juz know we were like laughin very loudly, coz ppl ard us keep lookin at our direction... oh ya, i was sittin near the bin, so still alright, coz i was hidin my face.. hehe...

so after the laughin n stuff, we got back to the serious mood again... n continue studyin... n somehow i got stuck with my exponential problem n i asked them for help, n somehow we juz cant solve it... till now i still cant solve it!! whahaha... so i juz ignore it n continue...

n guess wad? i manage to complete quite a few chapters today... so proud of myself... let c how much i completed...
-differentiation...
-maclaurine...
-mathematic induction..
-tangent n normal...
-log n exponential...
hmm.. i guess got somemore but i forgot liao.. haha... me like senile le... hmmm... wow.. so proud of myself for being able to complete the tys for the above mentioned chapters... haha... in like erm... 6 hrs... with like an hrs plus of slackin in between... haha..

so at ard 3 plus near 4, i was already slackin, coz my brain like dead liao.. haha... so was lokkin ard... n ym n sam was like eatin... so i juz looked at them eat.. n suddenly, i got the urge to take photo of ym.. n i managed to get one... n she was like beggin me to delete... n it was the first time i saw her tok to me in tt tone... i dunno how to describe... but it was really differebt n funny... but in the end i din delete.. haha... n she was like jokingly hittin my leg n i jerked up, n hurt my back in the process... woo hoo!!! so painful.. but dun worry, it much better now.. hehe...

i guess tt much for today... my brain dyin le.. luckily tml no sch for me... whahaha...

ym, thx for the photo... hehe... kk... sry for tt i guess... u alright now? feelin better le ma? oh ya, i promise ur tt photo will be safe in my hand... hehexx... thanz for today oh... cheer up girl... if really no one to help, i hope i can help... hehe.. take care ya?

TO ALL HAVING EXAM SOON...
GOOD LUCK OH!!! HAHA... GOOD LUCK TO MYSELF TOO..
JIA YOU EVERYONE...

2006-06-21T19:18:00.000+08:00

hmmm.. today woke up so early to meet sam n ym at lot 1 mac to eat breakfast, coz we r going to bowl at cdans together... hehe... coz its damn cheap... $1 per game? wow.. super cheap lo...

hehe... so when we reached there, the guys were already there...eze,tq,hd,roy. lc n milton joined us later.. so we took 3 lanes coz we wanted to bowl more.. so it 3 to a lane.. n the girls were in a lane together.. haiz.. i bowl so lousy today so me itcy backside, use sam the metal thingy... haha.. so funny.. the whole ball was like droppin from my thumb so i quickly turn my wrist.. n amazingly, the bowl turn quite nicely n they were all so impress n shocked..
coz ppl always drop their ball when they use tt metal thingy... so i was rather proud of myself.. whaha..

so i continue to use tt to bowl , n i bowled quite well, coz my ball can hook more... whahaha.. so proud sia... wow, if sam lend me earlier, i might be able to get 20 pins more average for national, mayb can beat OTHER ppl liao.. hehe...

k la.. so after bowlin, we went to eat n i went back to cdans to study in the readin room.. wow.. quite cool... but somehow i got distracted, coz i was so tired...

oh ya, n sam hit my bak so hard tt it kinda injured my old wound.. shit la, now sit also so pain... argh...

kk gtg... byezzz..

2006-06-19T19:30:00.000+08:00

wow... me so super tired today... so sian... lol...
coz me yi da qing zao hav to go sch to take my chem mock test... omg, it was rather good to go for this test, coz it somehow boost my confidence... hehe... more confident of myself now...
oh ya.. durin the test, something so embarrasin happen... i was takin my test in the LT, so it was rather huge, but durin test, it was damn quiet... so i was doing n all of a sudden, i heard a sound!! guess wad noise is tt? its my stomach groanin... lol.. it was so loud tt my frenz turn towards me n kinda laugh.. i was so embarrased... lol.. but i guess, i manage to pass my chem wif like at least a C? haha... all thanx to sam... y? coz she asked to teach her chem bondin n atomic structure, so somehow i manage to refresh my memory n score for tt qn... lol...
so after the test, i went to met ez to go out eat wif tq tt bunch... so fun.. on the way there we were like jokin n makin fun of each other... n eze hurt his neck last nite while sleepin, so he was kinda like an alien when he walked... lol..
kk... after lunch, went bak to sch to study wif ez n tq... n sam joined us later... coz she wanted the 'god' mr tq to teach her bio... haha.. i was so much funny to look at how tq teach her... he was like going... 'eh..'...'huh..' 'yah..' n so on.. n sam was like answerin her own qn... haha.. i dunno she got learn anythin not, coz i'm a bio idiot, i nv understand wad they were tokin abt, so i was like studyin my physic... n thanz ez... thanx for lendin me the physics book!! i understand so much better now.. manage to study 3 chapters of physics today... whaha...
now juz reach home, super tired after takin the med... like going to die le... kk gtg liao... hmmm... n i dunno if i shld go math mock tml... lol..

thanx god my throat is so much better today.. hehe... n i guess i really am more bonded to my bowlin pals den my class... hehezz..

2006-06-17T10:14:00.000+08:00

woo hoo... lol.. yesterday the bbq was so fun... though i wasnt really involve... hehexx... first, of all, it was the first time i bet on soccer... haha.. damn funny....
kk, abt the bbq, it was a reunion or a farewell bbq for us, seniors... but i guess it ended up bein dunearn reunion... lol.. coz sam, ez, ym n ian were tokin abt their funny teacher, if i'm not wrong he is mr raja... lol.. the esp funny part is when ian try to imitate him... sound so funny... den after tt they were tokin abt their teachers wearin g-string n so on, den came a part where ian say one of his teacher, a lady din shave.. haha... tt wad gross la, i was abt to eat when i heard tis, i stop immediately.. lol.. somehow the whole appetite was ruin... then ez say one of his teacher very bushy n his frenz even told the teacher tt her 'bush' is blockin his view... wad a joke... haha... so at ard 9 plus at nite, we went to ez hse to watch world cup, argentina vs dunno wad serbia one... so was so funny...
hui dong was at first very enthu, coz he bet on serbia, but after 1st half, he went home with jian wei n lc coz its already 3-0, argentina leadin... haha... but in the ned, i lost too.. i bet total goal is 3 goals, however, somehow near the last 12 mins, argentina scold another 3 goals in... lol..
so i was so tired tt i called it a day, so we took cab home, sharin cab wif jessie sam n ian...

alright, tt was the funny part, the serious part was, when bbq half way, ez mum came... somehow i got very tense up, i joke no more, n try to prevent my tense look from being seen... n somehow, ym n sam felt it too... when i'm home, sam sms me tellin me tt ez mum was somehow like scannin ard... i was like shit, did i do somethin wrong... but i guess it shld be fine... lol... kk.. i got to go... got to go ah gong hse to celebrate fathers day... however, i guess i wont be able to speak coz i'm kinda mute le... lol... i lost my voice after the bbq spread i hav... now, hav to keep popin lozenges in... haha

2006-06-15T21:22:00.000+08:00

well... i been thinkin quite abit these days...
dunno y, but somehow i got rather worried...
well, dun ask me wad i'm worried abt, coz i also dunno.. haha...
n ok, i guess i hav come to a decision... i'll wait for u but i'll be standin in the position of a frenz to watch over u.. n u got to know there will juz be certain things tt will no longer be the same... so be prepared...

i dunno how long i can hang on... dunno how long i'm able to wait for u, for i'm afraid i might hav to let go of u due to a factor tt i cant control... i'm very scared of leavin u... i hope u got wad i mean....
in the mean time... take care my frenz...

2006-06-13T14:12:00.000+08:00

wad had to come will still come...
i guess that a lady's intuition is always right..
i knew it's going to be like tis.. i juz dun wanna admit...
however, it still came... it like a circle for me..
every guy i like, i lie my whole heart n soul n love in, it ended tis way.. parents objection...
well i guess mayb i'm fated tis way... feelin numb i'm now...
both physically n emotionally exhausted i am now...
i dunno where to move on now... i'm lost agan...
a heart tt was broken yrs ago, i had juz mend it back,
yet now, it shattered again...
i'm not tryin to say anythin, but i bu gan xin ar...
but wad can i do? i dun wanna u to be sandwiched inside...
i guess tis is the onli choice n path i can take...
i made the wrong decision right from the start..
i shld not hav accepted ur suggestion...
i shld hav insist tt u hav r mum permission first...
at the very least, u wont hurt her,
n we wont be feelin so hurt now when we got to let go...

seventeen days... it lasted seventeen days...
i needa be alone...
plz let me be alone n tink my wa out of this mess of mine...
we onli hav one mum n dad, yet gf or bf, we can hav as many as we wan till we find the right one...
since parent object, well... den its time to tink n stop...
<3>

2006-06-13T10:42:00.000+08:00

haiz... yesterday sux...
first date may well resulted to be last date... haiz...
went out wif him yesterday together wif sam to town to watch da vinci...
all was fine, met sam on the way n meet up wif him at cine...
so when he first met me, he gave me a big hug... coz he went ubin for a long time...
kk, everything went out fine.. so since we still hav quite sometime to spare, n sam wanna buy slippers, so we went hereen to look for comfortable slippers...
till here, everythin were fine (we tot)..
so after shoppin some while, we were all hungry, so we went back to cine to eat pasta mania...
wow... everything were so wonderful n happy until he receive a call...
n my first reaction in him receivin a call was to look ard our surroundin...
n indeed i'm sensitive enough.. its his mum... n fromthere onwards, everything went upside down, no one is in the mood of tokin... n it sux... haiz...
n me was totally in no mood to watch the movie or even to tok...
n my worries got worse when half way thru the movie his mum sms him...
happen to c abit wad was on the sms, n it made my heart sank...
n i know wad she wrote... n tt sets me thinkin durin the whole bus trip...
n i'm still thinkin now...
wads the best solution i can ever do now... u r sandwiched in between us...
i had a tok wif my mum yesterday too.. she told me look at the situation first before decidin wad to do... if his mum still insist of rejectin this relationship, den be gd frenz wif him first, till his mum accept him... be by his side n support him as a frenz first... n also ask him to prove himself tt he can handle studies n relationship equally...
well, i guess i'm also left wif tt much choice...

to ~eze~: hang in there ba.. c how ur mum do first ba... i guess i know wad i shld do le...

to ~u~: its sad to know i;m not d first u share ur prob wif... hurtin too...

2006-06-10T12:36:00.000+08:00

well, been feelin rather weird these days... kinda like something is missin from part of my life... feeling so lethargic now n den...
i'm kinda back to my oldself.... oh no...
am i missin u like crazy?
am i hopin that u r here by my side?
am i lookin forward to u coming?

wad am i sufferin from?
wad am i thinkin?
is this wad we called in love?
am i in love?
wad happen??

will u be there for me always???

2006-06-08T12:44:00.000+08:00

wow... so sian these days... went out wif my bro yesterday to bowl...
but somehow the 'high' ness is not there...
doesnt really feel like i'm bowlin...
hmmm... nothing much happen also juz been slackin ard n TRYIN to study... somehow after 10 mins i got bored n will juz switch on the tv... lol...
guess its time i start to really study, for i dun wanna fail my mid yr again....
initially today suppose to go ruth hse to slack n relax, but somehow ruth fell sick so it gotta to be cancel , n now, i'm rottin at home, coz i already cancel away another grp of frenz outin... damn it... well, i guess tis week simply hav too much unforeseen circumstances tt make me mess up my whole week plan... argh!!!

hmmm... my five yrs thingy seems to be drawin nearer n nearer....
well, let me juz enjoy life now ba.... ead got to come will come eventually one day....

2006-06-07T10:54:00.000+08:00

I never could`ve seen this coming
It seems like my world`s falling apart,
Yeah Why is everything so hard
I don`t think that I can deal with the things you said
It just won`t go away
I used to think that I was strong
Until the day it all went wrong
I think I need a miracle to make it through,
Yeah I wish that I could bring you back
I wish that I could turn back time
Cuz I can`t let go
I just can`t find my way,
Yeah Without you I just can`t find my way
I don`t know what I should do now
I don`t know where I should go
I`m still here waiting for you
I`m lost when you`re not around
I need to hold on to you
I just can`t let you go

2006-06-07T10:47:00.000+08:00

yoz... me so sian... been trying to study... but somehow, my mind dun seems to be concentratin... hehexx... guess i know why... everytime i open my notes, i guess i'm staring at it instead of studyin... somehow the notes seems to have ur face appearing... lol...
kk, i muz admit now i do misses u k?
so nice to receive a call from u yesterday... somehow hearing ur voice brighten up my boring n stupid day...
argh! how i hope sat quickly come coz i'm missin u like siao... everyday keep countin down to how many days left... argh!
i guess i'm going bonkers AGAIN...

2006-06-04T12:06:00.000+08:00

Could you make this pain go away?
Could you fill my empty heart?
Could you heal all my wounds,
and promise we will never be apart?
Promise me you'll never leave,
and make everything all right.
Promise me when I start to fall,
you'll hold on to me tight.
Promise me you'll protect me and help wipe my tears,
Promise me your love for a few more years.
Promise me you'll love me no matter what I do,
and I will promise to only love you

2006-06-04T11:42:00.000+08:00

i suddenly realize something...
in a long lasting relationship, mutual trust is so impt...
once u dun trust in ur another partner, u will tend to hav lots n lots of quarrel... its not the quarrel tt set a barrier between u n ur partner, is d no trust u hav in ur partner tt sets them into thinkin... sets them into wonderin whether they r the one for u... trust is so impt in a relationship... without it, there bound to hav tension... n to love a person without gettin trust from them, it painful... is hurtin... its even painful when they misunderstand u...
next is the mutual respect one shld give to ur partner...
respect them... give them a little space of privacy... its this type of privacy tt bound u n them closer... respect in every decision they chose... coz u dun respect them, they wont respect u either.... hence to last long, respect them... believe in them...
n i guess tt how i look at the relationship tt i wanted....
how i wish i could have something like this....

2006-06-03T11:45:00.000+08:00

alright, lets tok abit abt yesterday since my finger can move a little now....
hehexx....
yesterday, 2/6/05....
hav lesson at 9, but since ez wanted to meet me at 8 for breakfast, so i wanted to wake up at 630(coz i haven finish my homework...haha...).. everything went fine, hav our breakfast, a little chat n laugh here n there... den it was 845... so we decided its time to walk to school... as usual, we took the little 'shortcut' so was kinda walkin in a 'garden' where there's trees n plants stickin out.....
suddenly! i felt something on my neck, so i use my hand to sweep it ( human's natural reaction ma) n wad happen next happen way too fast.... lol... i got stung by a bee.... i knew it was kinda a bee coz when i looked at my numb+painful middle finger on my left hand, i found a sting in it... ouch!! tt hurts... lol... so manage to pluck it out, but the pain was way too painful... however, being strong headed, i die die also dun wan c doc coz my lesson is starting soon...
so i went to sch... in sch, i saw all my frenz n all of them tell me to go c doc... but i die also dun wan... hehexx.... so went for physics lesson starts... my frenz was like complainin to my physics teacher, n me being cheeky asked my physics teacher....
me: cher, will i die?
cher: no u wont, its juz a bee sting...
me: u sure? later i faint half way u got to calll ambulance hor?
cher:(laugh) kk, i'll.. now i go take med for u to apply k?
lol.... n this stupid conversation goes on...
ok... fast forward.........
alright, ard 2 pluz, i cannot tahan already, i went home, wantin to c doc... but too lazy, so waited for my mum to come home n bring me...
n i tink ard 6 pluz ba... she brought me to c doc... n my finger by now was so swollen... lol... could no longer recognise whether its a finger or a sausage... lol...
well, so at the doc there, he clean it n give me a jab (dunno y a jab, guess a bit infected le ba...) lol...
so went home n rest, yet the pain is still there... can still feel my finger swollen.... alamak sia.... hehezz.. guess i onli wanna tell s much on how my " BEE STING" incident happen... lol... clumsy me....

i'm so sorry for lettin u worry for me when i got sting...
i'm so sorry for being stubborn n not let u bring me c doc....
i'm so sorry for being so strong headed...
so sorry for all e worries u hav yesterday...

2006-06-01T16:32:00.000+08:00

haiz... these 3 months is going to be the crucial three months for me...
not onli am i going to catch back all that i hav missed n forgotten of sch work, i also hav to make a decision by the end of three months...
i'm suppose to decide r u the one i want to be wif...
haiz... i'm so afraid tt by the end of 3 mths i'll be hurtin u...
did i do the right thing by acceptin u?
how i hope i wont hurt anyone in the process of my selfishness.... haiz...

2006-05-30T08:15:00.000+08:00

i no longer know wad i really wan... i'm lost in the own fantasy of my own...
i'm scared of being hurt again n again....
yet i chose to accept u....
for u hav rekindle the little hope i hav in me...
yet the fear still remains....
i dunno wad u expect from me nor do i know wad i expect from u....
seein anyone to be hurt nv cross my mind...
n i dun know wad to do for someone is bound to be hurt...
or shld i allow myself to be the one feelin this pain?
coz all this started bcoz of me...
i dunno...
i'm lost in my wonderland...
to be wif u, there's much more obstacles to be crossed....

2006-05-27T13:35:00.000+08:00

i muz hav been crazy... teach me wad to do... i dun wan anyone to be hurt, n i guess u wld wan me to do it that way, but i got to tell u, i'm questionin myself y i did that...
i know i shant tink tis way, but u make me think...
if by doing tis u will be happy, n u wanted me out, i guess i'll respect it...
sorry, for my draggin...
sorry for causin u to be this painful...
sorry for evey hurt i cause u...
sorry for bein selfish....

promise me u will be happy n xin fu...

i'm an idiot....

i'm crazy over u....

2006-04-28T14:25:00.000+08:00

today i sign out early today from school....
y? coz my bro is in trouble in his sec school.... guess who is the teacher that wanted to meet my mum? u r right if u guess that it is YEo yoyoyo!!!!!!!!!!
went to tok wif her, n she say my bro is rude.... hmmm... i will agree if her if she meant the way my bro tok to me..... but its not... my bro wont be rude to teacher....
but i guess the teacher juz got nothing to do....
she say i'm rude? m i? well, i guess i'm juz rude to my mum n my bro onli ba....
well, wad can i say? she might be possess...she say she hav the power of demon?
oh no!! but who cares, at least i believe my brother n no one can EVER say abt my parents...
Idiot... u wan be teacher den dun complain abt u havin no time to cook for ur children la....
debate lose to me also dun need say i no jia jiao right? bitch....

2006-04-28T14:23:00.000+08:00

finally!!1 i hav time to blog... haha.. no la, is juz that i'm been too lazy to blog n also my stupid bro keep occupyin the comp, dun let me use... well, nothing much unusual happen la, juz that bowlin trainin nowadays is quite tense n tired... wad i'm tryin to say is that, trainin these days become so irritatin... with those juniors showing u stupid attitude, thinkin that they themselves r the one in charge of the club, den wad the hell do the think the seniors are? transparent? esp towards the exco... they r namin themselves the exco, n that pissed me off... so wad if bowling had been 'REVIVE" by u? u r still a juniors to us.... cos this yr, we r still in charge... learn ur manners well.... u might think i'm throwin my weight ard, but ask ard, see wad hav they done, n we might feel even worse... guess that's all for now...

2006-04-24T17:42:00.001+08:00

2006-04-24T17:42:00.000+08:00

2006-04-24T17:33:00.001+08:00

finally!!1 i hav time to blog...
haha.. no la, is juz that i'm been too lazy to blog n also my stupid bro keep occupyin the comp, dun let me use...
well, nothing much unusual happen la, juz that bowlin trainin nowadays is quite tense n tired...
wad i'm tryin to say is that, trainin these days become so irritatin...
with those juniors showing u stupid attitude, thinkin that they themselves r the one in charge of the club, den wad the hell do the think the seniors are? transparent? esp towards the exco... they r namin themselves the exco, n that pissed me off...
so wad if bowling had been 'REVIVE" by u?
u r still a juniors to us.... cos this yr, we r still in charge...
learn ur manners well....
u might think i'm throwin my weight ard, but ask ard, see wad hav they done, n we might feel even worse...
guess that's all for now...

2006-04-24T17:33:00.000+08:00

finally!!1 i hav time to blog...
haha.. no la, is juz that i'm been too lazy to blog n also my stupid bro keep occupyin the comp, dun let me use...
well, nothing much unusual happen la, juz that bowlin trainin nowadays is quite tense n tired...
wad i'm tryin to say is that, trainin these days become so irritatin...
with those juniors showing u stupid attitude, thinkin that they themselves r the one in charge of the club, den wad the hell do the think the seniors are? transparent? esp towards the exco... they r namin themselves the exco, n that pissed me off...
so wad if bowling had been 'REVIVE" by u?
u r still a juniors to us.... cos this yr, we r still in charge...
learn ur manners well....
u might think i'm throwin my weight ard, but ask ard, see wad hav they done, n we might feel even worse...
guess that's all for now...

regrets??? an irony....

2006-03-01T16:40:00.000+08:00

i'm gettin tired each n everyday... kinda hav a rest these few days, attendin wake... y?
y r lives so vunerable? after workin so hard for ur whole life, n when u leave this whole, u cant bring anything wif u?
i was once told nv to live life with regret, yet i juz realise, regrets r the onli things that can keep remindin u of that special person or even events...
if u r livin life with no regrets,
very soon, u will forget the person that was once impt in ur life....
n i'm thankful that at the very least i'm still left with some regrets in my life.... for the case of my jie, at least i regret not treatin her words seriously when she told me she will let go once i forgotten HIM... n she kept her promise of lettin go once i forgotten him...
in the case of my frenz, i regret not tellin them the truth, regret lettin certain impt frenzship of mine to end...
so shld we live a life of regrets or shld we not live a life of regrets? we will leave these world, be it sooner or later.... shall we do wad we want n leave wif no regrets or do wad we SUPPOSED to do n leave wif regrets?
can anyone tell me? deep inside me, i'm so confused... it such an irony....
regrets, shld we hav or shld we not hav???

2006-02-19T16:00:00.000+08:00

alright, since i hav a bit of time today, shall juz update my blog...
well, let c where shld i start first...
alright, let start from friday, 17/2
OMG, i cant believe i'm studyin in a ZOO instead of a SCHOOL!!!
whahaha.... u muz be wonderin y i say tt... all becoz we hav monjey,(or i shld say spiderman)
in school... he slide down a pillar from 3rd storey juz becoz of a challenge.... omg, can u believe it?
i mean wad if he miss his grip n fall right down, wont he juz die on the spot or even long term handicapped? i juz cant believe it... n thx ruth, for making me realise that we r probably in a zoo sometimes, where u r the zookeeper... haha...
alright of friday, now sat....
well, din really do much today, probably juz going thru my bro STUDY stuff wif him...
i juz cant understand him, y he actually know his stuff, yet he is givin the teachers in sch sloopy stuff??? aiyoyo... cant stand him, esp when teachin him sci... haha... tried to teach him bio, but in the end, he is the one correcting me.... ( c, told u, i'm not a bio stuff, i better juz keep to my own limit, speciality ba, which is chem.... whahha... i guess i over teach him in chem... even jc stuff also in.) i guess he dun understand ba... oops....
so was at home rather early, nothing much to do coz dun feel like studyin, so took out all my letters(from the past) to read....
n in there, i found any motivation to carry on... i realise each n everytime u read them, nwe things will juz pop out, things u dun get it in the previous past... well, i guess probably u hav made urself clear from ur first letter tt u will onli walk wif me till i forgotten him, n u did keep that promise, but i still holding to the hope that u will also keep the other promise u made durin my O lvl... i'm keepin my faith in u...
n i hope i can somehow get to know how r u nowadays...
alright, enough of that... well, been missing my kuku frenz lately, i guess frenz 4eva dun really exist ba, now they r all busy wif their own stuff, n we kinda driftin apart, n i'm afraid of that, i'm afraid of losing someone again... so afraid now that i wont dare to put in the whole feelin of believin again... well, i dunno either...
alright, that's all for now, hopefully i'll be able to update soon....
KUKU pals, misss ya lots o!!!! dun for get me hor!!!!

2006-02-14T16:14:00.000+08:00

finally, after so long, i manage to find time to post my blog...
whahaha.... been TOO busy with mapling.... whahhaha...
well, today is valentine day, n guess wad, i'm alone, writing this blog... haiz...
but hey, look on the bright side!! at least i'm discharge of hospital...
been lying in there for so many days... now body aches more....
wonder y i'm there?? let me tell u, i'm down with fever, which sort of like dengue...
whaha.... but thank goodness, it isnt that serious, n after a few jabs n disgusting med, i'm able to walk n enjoy my life again...
oh ya, n to my pal, sorry, been too sick lately to c how hav u been... if u happen to c this, tag me k? my HP not working, dunnp y either....
alright, so much for now, gtg...
bye...
n HAPPY VALENTINE DAY!!!
as for me, happy restin day....

its the second yrs already......

2006-02-06T11:09:00.000+08:00

You Have a Melancholic Temperament

Introspective and reflective, you think about everything and anything.You are a soft-hearted daydreamer. You long for your ideal life.You love silence and solitude. Everyday life is usually too chaotic for you.
Given enough time alone, it's easy for you to find inner peace.You tend to be spiritual, having found your own meaning of life.Wise and patient, you can help people through difficult times.
At your worst, you brood and sulk. Your negative thoughts can trap you.You are reserved and withdrawn. This makes it hard to connect to others.You tend to over think small things, making decisions difficult.

What Temperment Are You?

2005-12-20T15:36:00.000+08:00

woohoo!!!! yesterday was fantastic.... haha... wif all sort of nonsense....
guess wad do i hav yesterday?
if u guess its bbq gathering, den u r very right!!!
whahaha....i rem terry couldnt rem my name.... oh my god... n that jess forgot cheryl's name too... haha... guess its been too long since all of us last met that y these happen...
i was bbqing the whole time.... n ate alot while bbqing.... whahaha....
we hav sotong, stingray n satay all tis... oh my... n all this things could be book juz online... so worth it n easy man....
most of all is the time i spent meetin up wif my frenz.... they din change much...
as funny as usual... haha...
oh ya, the sotong n stingray r damn spicy.... could hardly tok when i eat it....
haha... n of course we have our gift exchange for xmas la....
haha... guess whose present i got? i got JIE SHI's one... whahaha... a nice book... so nice of her... thank you oh.... hahaha....
n guess wad? zhenfu go a lady handbag from akram.... its green somemore... whahhaha... so wonderful....
n of course we ended the day wif our classic drama from famous jessica, sabs, terry n gawain... with their love square... haha...
guess i will miss these gatherin.... i HOPE to hav more k? hope to cya guys....
n thanx jie shi, cheryl, jess, sabs, terry, gawain n all those who brought to me so much fun....

n oh ya, sabs suddenly asked me how is ms chew.... haha... i tot for a while n sudden ask myself, indeed, how is she? how has she been? she seems to be someone i knew very well, yet she still seems like a stranger when i saw her... haha...well, i might nv get it.... thats me... whahha....

2005-12-17T15:34:00.000+08:00

interested in my childhood photo???? haha... i have pick some.... find it at.....
http://baobeiz7988.multiply.com/photos/album/8

2005-12-15T12:37:00.000+08:00

A Simple Thank-You, My Friend
by warmhrt
Into the dim lit, bare walls of my world,
You entered, bringing light and life to me,
The vivid colors, painted with a swirl
Of wit and charm, of personality,
With tender care, you added comfort, warmth,
And images that line the now bright walls.
I look upon them fondly, bringing forth
A thankfulness that you walk in these halls
With me; our friendship has become a part
Of my world now; it has its special place,
Within my being, life, and in my heart,
Your name hangs right beside your smiling face.
Rememb'ring just how drab these walls had been,
I have to thank you for the light, my friend.

2005-12-10T21:32:00.000+08:00

hmmm... alot of times in my life i wonder... wad will my life be if i nv once met u? u nv been so close to me? u nv treat me so well.... wad will i be now? i guess all i could say is i will nv be so hurt now, so lost now or even so afraid of getting close to those things that we hav done before...
sometimes i really wonder, will i be happier? i hav no answer to tt... for alot of things changes once u step into my life, n alot too changes once u step out of my life.....
well, all i could say is sometimes i do hate myself for being so weak, n sometimes i wonder if there will be a day where u could be back to urself... although i know its difficult, at least i still hold some hope there....
well, boi did say he always rem wad u taught him.... me too, but wad u hav taught me is much more den those words, for ur actions alone taught me millions of things... at least the me now is more patient n courteous.... at least i know in the one and the plus yr u meant so much to me... n now, everything in my life revolve ard memories... n u, u will always took up a part in my heart... juz like wad i promise u.... a permanent resident in my heart... permanent coz NOTHING in this world is FOREVER.... n tis promise i will always keep.... no matter wad happen... no matter where u r....

2005-12-05T13:30:00.000+08:00

wow!!! had such a great day on our kuku gathering... whahahaha.... it been long since i ever had such great fun... thankyou so much guys, for planning such a great outing.... haha....
esp tt luge ride, had so much fun.... n of course the scaring chairlift for me.... n hopefully, next time when we go, MAY dont try opening the metal thingy.... scare me sia....
haha... but indeed we hav llotsa fun.... playing frisbee, trying to show girls power, (of course we couldnt) coz we run a while n all girls were tired... hahaha.... n of course the speedin ride of the luge, where someone lan ga.... haha.... n of course the mini race we had.... thanks so much....
n itwont be so perfect till the three of us manage to end the day wif a cable car ride home....( 3 free tickets from some ang moh, coz they dun wanna ride liao... so lucky of me)
haha.... n of course, the mashmallow+chocolate treat from cui.... wow.... that taste like heaven.... hehexx.... really.... such a wonderful day.... been long since i had so much fun... i guess it been a year.... coz the day u left me, i wasnt able to accept, hadnt had much fun ever since.... so thanx guys, thanx the kuku company..... hehexx.. work hard, coz i'm waitin for my treat... whaha.....

2005-11-23T16:06:00.000+08:00

wow!! been so long since i last blog... lolx... all tis is due to d stupid long trainin hours i hav... haha... one whole day train near to nine hours, how to take it... c la, train so much now i tore my muscles... haha... but den i still continue to train.. whahaha...
well... tt day went to watch JUX LIKE HEAVEN wif my bro... not a bad show, quite funny but very romantic... hehexx...
a yr is going to end n i guess i hav been wastin my whole yr juz wanderin ard... did nothing constructive this yr... guess tis is how u been thru for ur last five yrs ba.. haha
well, well, i guess i need to rest now, typin wif one hand is real tough... got to rest... bb....

2005-11-06T21:14:00.000+08:00

Your Personality Is

Guardian (SJ)
You are sensible, down to earth, and goal oriented.Bottom line, you are good at playing by the rules.
You tend to be dominant - and you are a natural leader.You are interested in rules and order. Morals are important to you.
A hard worker, you give your all at whatever you do.You're very serious, and people often tell you to lighten up.
In love, you tend to take things carefully and slowly.
At work, you are suited to almost any career - but you excel in leadership positions.
With others, you tend to be polite and formal.
As far as looks go, you are traditionally attractive. You take good care of yourself.
On weekends, you tend to like to do organized activities. In fact, you often organize them!

The Three Question Personality Test

2005-11-03T05:03:00.000+08:00

lolxxx.... cant believe my blog can be vandalise too... wow!!! lolx, but i guess it doesnt really bother me at all... dunno who she is either... lol...
okok... now back to wad i wanna say... well, been long since i last blog... hmmm... well, today got back my result... alright la, slightly better den i expected... whahaha... at least i got a C... haha...
C for math, D for both chem n physics...
at least make me able to go J2...
haiz, but of course still disappointed la... been a long time since i last hang out wif my sec sch frenz... hopin so much i can join them, but i cant... busy tml... OMG!!! other time ba... hehezz

2005-10-25T07:54:00.000+08:00

ya... today got back poor results... omg, i cant believe that's d result i get...
fail, fail n more fail... i simply cant believe it... whole day mood juz ruin by it... can u believe??? i got EEE for all my subjects... omg...
of course, i cried upon my chem result... all of this sudden i felt, y do i suddenly felt so lonely? y? yes, finally i know y, coz i used to be able to cry in someone's arm, but it's no longer possible, coz she's no longer ard, n i can onli cry by myself... at first i cried coz of result, but den i realise i wasnt cryin for tt, i'm cryin at u leavin me... i asked, do i hate u? i really doesnt know d ans anymore, for u r always so impt to me... i'm lost..k? i cried... I CRIED ok? i'm done, n i'm really too tired le....

2005-10-15T11:19:00.000+08:00

I won't be your fool
For you to use as a tool
Neither will I let you use me in your plans
But I guess your not a real man
You used me as a toy in your game
Have you ever felt ashamed?
For the things you did to me
I know that we can't be
Have you ever loved me like the way you said you would?
I loved you the way I should
How come you didn't love me the way you could?
I feel that my heart has broken into two
'Cause you never told me anything true
Whispering in my ears all lies
Sometimes all I hear are cries
From my crushed heart and broken soul
You've made me your fool............

from,http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/AngelOfLove/

2005-10-14T13:41:00.000+08:00

Ye zi de li kai,
Bu shi yin wei feng de zhui qiu,
Er shi shu de bu wan liu.

Life is unpredictable.
You might not live throught tomorrow.
So live everyday to the fullest.
Cherish your beloved ones

2005-10-12T04:09:00.000+08:00

lol... today early mornin receive a call... haha... my xiao gu finally gave birth to a baby boy!! hurray... so happy for her... haha... hopefully will get to c her tonight!!!

well, tink quite alot yesterday... realise since tis d way i'm put to live, den i shall live to d fullest wif no regret ba... tryin to pick up d broken pieces d best tt i could, n tryin to move on... maybe not for long, but at d very least, i did try... so let my heart down, live wif numbness, n i shall be happy till d day i die...

[jie, will i be able to c u d last time before i leave tis place... i wonder at times too... haha... but i know how stubborn u r... when u do a certain things, u hav ur reason, i hope tis time u have urs too... all d best to u... treasure d person... n stay happy... smile more, coz its infectious right???]

2005-10-11T05:28:00.000+08:00

reality is always tis cruel... n now i believe in it... haha... went for check up today...
yes i admit, things dun turn out well as i hope...

5 yrs, i was suppose to hav 5 yrs, but wad happenin now? y suddenly i cant stay till tt long?
wads wrong? well... i guess tt retribution... tt wad i get for not treasurin my jie well ba...

haha... wad a joke... but doent really matter... since i lost my jie, it doesnt really matter how much longer i hav...

suddenly saw a letter my jie wrote, like a few phrase inside... it goes like tis...
"scariest part of life is realising that sometimes bad things juz happen, no reason, no purpose, it juz occur n we r left to pick up d pieces..."
"there r things tt we nv wanted to let go of, ppl we nv wanted to leave behind n forget, but lettin go isnt d end of d world, its d beginning of a new life..."

wanted to hav a new life, but i guess i no longer hav d chance to...

2005-10-07T04:19:00.000+08:00

today marks d end of my promo!!! hurray!! whahaha... its been long since i felt tis kind of relaxation... haha... but den i know all r gone cases....
today is d first time i felt so unconfident of my chemistry paper... y? hmm... i guess i lost d feel to doin it... lost d meanin to doin well... haha... but den its over, so let me juz relax n recharge...

jie... i always rem wad u say... even if u r gone now, wad u said will always be wif me... tried ur best n hav no regret... right? i did tt i really tried m best for chem liao... hmmm... hopin so much u could c tis n be proud of me... but i know u r always proud of me...
where r u jie???

2005-10-06T03:07:00.000+08:00

wow... tml marks d end of my promo... so fast sia... haiz... guess i muz be prepare to be retain... study so damn hard, yet cant do a single qn... omg...

today, i somehow realise i lost my usual confident walk... everytime after my paper, i will be confident of wad i hav done, yet this time, i lost it... i somehow lost my confidence too.. haiz... ever since tt day onwards, i lost myself, my confidence, my almost everything... haiz...

2005-10-03T21:09:00.000+08:00

i learnt quite alot of things these few days... perhaps in life we juz need to hav time alone, thinkin n reflectin on our lives... i got tt chance of thinkin.. alone... at d beach...
i tot of alot of things... times we spent so happily together... n times we hav our quarrel...

if u ever asked me if i ever hav my regret, i would tell u, yes i do hav my regret... i regret not being able to treasure when u r ard... i regret takin u for granted... n i even had regretted once of believin n trustin u so much... but i guess u hav been tryin to tell me this... u been tellin me certain things tt suppose to come will come... i still rem our first time out, 3 of us, celebratin his bday... had so much fun... den came d moment where he say he wanted to leave, for he is too tired... n i happen to see ur diary, statin perhaps u r too KPO... yet at tt moment, i stand by u...
there is simply too much thing i tried to recall...
yes, i recalled every single n little things u did to me... u helped me pulled through... but wads the use of sayin now? u left me, u deserted me... for who? i dunno, but i tink i can guess... its either a guy, or its bcoz of ur frenz... haha... wad a funny joke.. u were heartbroken due to a guy when we met, yet we left due to another guy too... wad a joke...
i no longer hav energy already... i shed too much tears for u already... for u, i left my frenz, yet u left me for ur frenz... its hurtin, its disappointin n it even more painful to accept d fact tt u nv even rem my bday.. now i know hpw much i meant in ur heart...

i cried botterly alone, who ever understand how i feel?
i tried to stand up on my own, but everytime i tried, i fall... i wanted to go back to my own life... i rather not do well for my o at least i wont hav to be strugglin now...

there is so much i hope n if, but wads d use? i sometime does hate u, but wad can i do? when u meant so much to me... times wif u are all so meaninful, so wonderful n so enjoyable... i hope so much u can be back, maybe not so close, at least we could tok together once a month or so... I HOPE... although i knoe it might be fat hope...

i could onli say, i'm hurt damn deeply this time round... by u....

2005-10-03T10:08:00.000+08:00

I never could`ve seen this coming
It seems like my world`s falling apart, Yeah
Why is everything so hard
I don`t think that I can deal with the things you said
It just won`t go away
I used to think that I was strong
Until the day it all went wrong
I think I need a miracle to make it through,
Yeah I wish that I could bring you back
I wish that I could turn back time
Cuz I can`t let go
I just can`t find my way, Yeah
Without you I just can`t find my way
I don`t know what I should do now
I don`t know where I should go
I`m still here waiting for you
I`m lost when you`re not around
I need to hold on to you
I just can`t let you go

2005-10-01T17:40:00.000+08:00

ya... she nv came... waited for her so long.. she juz nv come... ha ha.. my heart kinda become numb.. went west coast park cried till like wad.. now eyes very swollen...

i broke down le...

2005-09-30T23:41:00.000+08:00

whohoooo..... its my big day today!!! whahaha... yesh... today my birthday... but den, i dun feel any excitement or happiness... all i feel is anticipation... not knowin she will come or not... but dun worry, i will keep tis blog updated as long as i'm not dead....

2005-09-30T23:36:00.000+08:00

whohooooo... today's my big day!! coz its my bday... haha... ppl who havin bday shld felt excited n happy, but tis yr, i dun hav any excitement, juz some anticipation... dunno will she come or will she not... i'm scared n afraid... haiz... really dunno... but kep tis blog updated, as long as i'm not dead....

2005-09-29T08:07:00.000+08:00

hav gp today... was rather alright, coz i manage to finish it in time.... haiz... 2 more days man... n i'm gettin impatient...
well, today durin exam, i did something stupid... was intendin to drink water, so i open my bottle cap n it actually landed on kim's table's leg... omg... i was tinkin wad i shld do wif d whole bottle... cos i dun dare leave it on d floor... i'm afraid of spillin it onto d carpet... so i got no choice, spent 10 mins finishin d water before i continue to do my compre.... stupid right?? argh!!!
hmmm... i'm gettin a little frustrated wif my life... alot of things juz isnt going well... haven study anything at all for promo, coz i'm in no mood to study...
my mei, nise, also... she say she kinda in depression... makes me so worried... coz i went through it before, n i know it doesnt feels well to be undergoing depression.... haiz... was to do, can anyone teach me? plz....

2005-09-27T22:08:00.000+08:00

tml is promo le... i dunno wad hav i been doin for this whole yrs... been wastin my time i tink... i really dunno wad to do... i dun feel like studyi... not in d mood to study... dun ask me y... coz i'm used to studyin n jokin ard wif HER.. i'm a lost sheep... n i'll no longer be wad i used to be...
hopefully i can gain back my confidence by tis comin friday... hopefully...

really cant wait for tis fri n sat to come... got a whole lot of activities waitin for me... dunno will it be good or bad....

fan bu xia ye wang bu liao...
mei you ren xiang ni yi yang....
yi nian guo le...
ni hai ji de wo ma?

2005-09-25T09:50:00.000+08:00

" Life is full of people and situations that make you feel so hurt and offended, by what they say or do. But you should always remember everyone cries and everyone lies, but no one deserves to feel that they're alone. So no matter what you're going through, there is always someone who will take the time to listen to you. They'll tell you to just be true to yourself and remember after the rain soon comes the sun to brighten up your day in each and every way! So don't ever lose hope."
Written in 2005 by Michelle H.

" Life consists of happiness and sadness. It's attitude that determines which one outweighs the other."
Written in 2005 by David K

" It is our own mental attitude that makes the world what it is for us. Our thoughts make things beautiful, our thoughts make things ugly. The whole world is in our own minds. Learn to see things in the proper light. First, believe in this world - that there is meaning behind everything. Everything in the world is good, is holy & beautiful. If you see something evil, think that you are not understanding it in the right light. Throw the burden on yourselves!"
Swami Vivekananda

" When confronted with obstacles in this day and age, you must persevere and endure; you've made it this far and you must remember you are in control. You determine what you can do and where you are going. Never let any one else drag you down and tell you otherwise. You can do whatever you believe you can. Life is not determined by what we are given but by how we choose to use it. So hang on and don't go down without a fight."
Written in 2005 by Tim S.

" Often people become sad when seeing the sunset because that's when they realize that the day has come to an end. But this is the tradition of the nature. There is also a new sun the next day, which comes with new brightness. We have to create new memories by having faith in time, so when the sun sets, we are prepared for the darkness."
Written in 2005 by Rajiv Sagar

2005-09-25T09:47:00.000+08:00

yes... i admit... i hav been a fool these days... tryin to help u all, yet was treated tt way.. shld hav learnt tt long ago... but i'm stubborn to be helpful... so from now on, i shall not interfere...

4 more days to promo, yet i haven even started studyin... my frenz r all studyin like crazy... studyin till they r cryin, yet me, still day dreamin... still dreamin...

i dunno wad to do to ask myself to buck up.... haiz...

2005-09-24T10:09:00.000+08:00

i'm getting sick and tired... 5 more days to promo n 7 days to d day of truth...
but i'm getting real tired le... y is tis so? y when i tried to offer help, yet they treated me as a nuisance? am i really one? i dunno, but i juz know i'm really gettin tired wif lots of things....
with her no longer there for me, i really felt useless... i dunno y, but i kinda lost, numb i shld say... i dunno, although i know i shld learn to let go, but i really cant... coz u guys juz dunno wad we hav went thru together... wad we hav done together... wad we hav overcome, they is simply juz so much we done together... wif our same n unique style of eatin, drinkin... i juz cant let go... n i'm holding on... i really am... even if its forever...

2005-09-23T17:34:00.000+08:00

ya... i learnt my lesson... learnt it thoroughly...
it nv helps to be a gd person...
when u try to help someone who seems to be in need, they treat u as an EXTRA...
ya, i learnt it, d hard way...
alright, from now on, i'll nv meddle in k? NV... since tryin to help is a fault to....
happy?

2005-09-21T20:48:00.000+08:00

7 days to my promo... omg... i really cant manage the stress level man... haiz....
n 9 more days to d day of truth... hopefully i wont hav to cry by myself on tt day... hopefully...

well, today very happening... lol... was sitting down with strawberry, cherry, tomato n peach... toking... den all of a sudden, we were toking abt bust boostin... haha... dun ask me y, coz we juz tok abt it... den tok tok, all of a sudden i told them wad my mum said... using tt bust thingy will make ur ERM ERM qiang zhuang... den we laugh so loud man... cherry keep laughin... cant stand her... haha....

went to LJS too... i wasnt in d right mood though, coz LJS juz bring back too much memories... remind me of the time i spent wif her at LJS, where i will give half my fish to her n squeezin 13 packets of ketchup together... had so much fun tt time... but well, everythin seems to be gone now... heard she had a bf.. well, lets wait then...

2005-09-19T09:16:00.000+08:00

as day goes... my heart n doubt get deeper... will she come or will she not? i ponder... many moments, i hav been askin myself, did i made d right choice of asking her to meet me?
i really dunno... day in , day out, i kept dreaming of her... dreamin d day she say she is juz playin wif me... but i knoe, its all juz dreams... somethin i tink will nv happen...
read my old sms, n many many memories came back, all d fun time n obstacles we overcome...

i'm lost without her... i admit, she is real impt to me... deep down....

2005-09-16T02:58:00.000+08:00

many times in life i hav been asking myself this qn...
who r u to me?
y am i so stubborn to hold on?

yesterday cui ask me, y do i still hold on to u when i know u r intendin to avoid me?
i gave no ans to her, for i juz dunnoo how to ans... u seems so familiar yet so strange to me...
i asked myself, wad did i really did that makes u hates me so much now...
many moments, i stun at this qn, for i really doesnt know the ans...
yes, ppl say i'm stubborn to hold on to something so meaninless now...
but wad do they know, for they dun spent those special moment i spent with u...
they dunno how many obstacles we had went thru before we can archieve wad we hav now.
onli u know i much we struggle, yet u r leavin me alone now...

i chose to tell myself u r being forced to, mayb by sch, by something, or even to protect me...
but i'm really runnin out of excuses to tell myself... many moments to me r leavin in darkness,
for i c now light without u...

i'm givin myself d last chance... last chance, hopin that u will rem d special day, d day where we had spent together for 2 yrs at the same place... i'll wait for u... ur attendace will den give me d best reason whether i'll hold on anymore not...

u walked me thru darkness, hopefully we wont end here, hopefully we can carry on, mayb not tt often, at least let me know i hav someone to rely on in times of needs....

i'm really am strugglin...

2005-09-16T02:56:00.000+08:00

hmmmz.. life is ever changing..

time won't wait for u to catch up with him

in every period of life, time only passes once

whether we make good use of it anot it still wont wait for us

wont allow us to relive that period of life

may u call life evil.. life's bad or anithing..

it wont change..

Fate

changing and separation are just part of our lives.

since we cant do anything to change it

why not accept it the way it is

forgive me if i stop communicating with any one of u

i might have dislike u in anyway

or i might aso had given it up

accept it and live a happier and more meaningful life

Faith

the world is changingbut my heart is not.my brain is not.my mentality is not

i am still as determined as eva to change the way things that are implemented on us.

we wil never split if we try hard not to

wad is fate?

wad is destiny? so long we try.. we can overcome dere.

is faith or fate stronger?..

maybe i will communicate lesser and lesser with u all..

maybe even stop communicating soon..

but 1 thing i can ensure u ish tt i will always rmb u

for the quarrels and disputes we have had b4

and the happier times we spent together.

2005-09-14T13:01:00.000+08:00

How You Are In Love

You take a while to fall in love with someone. Trust takes time.
You tend to give more than take in relationships.
You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time.
You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change.
You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

How'>http://www.blogthings.com/howareyouinlovequiz/">How Are You In Love?

2005-09-14T12:58:00.000+08:00

Your Power Color Is Red-Orange

At Your Highest:
You are warm, sensitive, and focused on your personal growth.
At Your Lowest:
You become defensive and critical if you feel attacked.
In Love:
You are loyal - but you demand the respect you deserve.
How You're Attractive:
You are very affectionate and inspire trust.
Your Eternal Question:
"Am I Respected?"

What's" Your Power Color?

2005-09-13T12:23:00.000+08:00

You're so far away,
but you're here
in my heart every day.

I know how lucky I am
to have a sister like you.
You're not just family,
but my best friend too.

I only wish that you
lived closer to me,
so we could get together
to share over a cup of tea.

But even though you're not here,
it's such a good feeling
to know you're out there...
sharing and caring
and making each day,
so much brighter
in your own special way.

All of the warmth you send
shines through,
and there will always be
a place in my heart for you.

for my frenz out there...

2005-09-13T12:02:00.000+08:00

<-\\ when u`r sad ;
<-// i will dry ur tears .
<-\\ when u`r scared ;
<-// i will comfort ur fears .
<-\\ when u`r worried ;
<-// i will give yeww hope .
<-\\ when u`r confused ;
<-// i will help u cope .
<-\\ and when ur lost ;
<-// and can't see the light ;
<-\\ i shall be ur beacon .
<-// shining ever so bright .
<-\\ this ish my oath .
<-// i pledge till the end .
<-\\ why yeu may ask ?
<-// + because u`r my frendd !
<-// thankiew ferr havingg miie iin ur friendd listt.. takkaire

2005-09-13T03:27:00.000+08:00

I miss you.
I miss your warm eyes,
the way you listen and care.
I miss all that we share.
I miss you.

I miss the touch of your hand,
so reassuring and sincere,
and the moments we spend together,
that I hold dear.

I miss you.
I miss all of the caring things you do,
and spending the evening
alone with you.

I miss you.
I look forward to tomorrow
knowing that then,
I'll be one day closer
to seeing you again.
You must have
guessed it by now...

I miss you!

new hair cut

2005-09-12T20:18:00.000+08:00

omg... cant believe my hair cut... omg... my fringe it totally sucks... each n everyday passes juzlike tis... i'm lookin forward to my bday... not bcoz of presents, but bcoz that will be d day i'll be able to get my ans... kinda troubled these days... i dunno if i shld try not... i'm lost... plz, let me be wif u can?

2005-09-12T12:47:00.000+08:00

~my best jie n me...~