il0vey0u*

y0u gave me the l0ve i needed` i'm blessed becuz i am loved by you

Thursday, October 25, 2007

i've been too lazy to blog.. too busy with my bio n business economics..

been feelin very sian recently.. coz part of me is missin..
i lost u.. where hav u been? where r u now? how can u be so heartless to leave me alone to fight this alone? how can u be so cruel as to give me up/ leave me aside for other? m i really tt useless? ans me.. i hate u.. i hate ur cruelty.. i hate ur neglience.. i hate everything tt's happenin now.. wadever promises r lies..

Say It Isn't So Lyrics

0nce up0n a time... i believed.
|12:50 PM|

Thursday, September 27, 2007

argh.. sch startin real soon, n i kinda going to miss my slackin day.. hmmm.. my time table is a mess.. was told to onli hav sch for 3 days per week, end up, i hav to go everyday.. argh.. but no one to blame, cos this is where my interest lie, n onli tt sch can provide me tt.. yes, i am a student pursuin my degree in pharmaceutical managentment.. its pharmacy+business in short.. well.. wish me luck, coz i got a feelin i am going to be buried in books again..

0nce up0n a time... i believed.
|10:30 PM|

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

What Jeslyn Goh Seow Hwee Means

J is for Juicy

E is for Emotional

S is for Sweet

L is for Logical

Y is for Yummy

N is for Nutty

G is for Gutsy

O is for Odd

H is for Hardworking

S is for Scary

E is for Explosive

O is for Optimistic

W is for Witty

H is for Handy

W is for Warm

E is for Ebullient

E is for Entertaining

What Does Your Name Mean?

0nce up0n a time... i believed.
|1:43 AM|

Saturday, September 08, 2007

Your Birthdate: September 30

You have the type of personality that people either love or hate.You're opinionated, dramatic, intense, and very outspoken.And some people can't get enough of you - they're totally addicted.Others, well, they wish you were a little more reserved.
Your strength: Your flair
Your weakness: If you think it, you say it
Your power color: Scarlet red
Your power symbol: Inverted triangle
Your power month: March

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

0nce up0n a time... i believed.
|7:40 PM|

Friday, September 07, 2007

come on, lets be frank with life.. no one will really bother to go TT MUCH DISTANCE with u.. ppl r expectin u to put in a whole lot of love but wont expect to put in that much for u.. ya, when u asked for something more, ppl felt they r nothin but ur dog tt's tryin to plz the master.. ppl juz felt that we want their companionship not a relationship.. n the joke is that when ppl say all tis, we r not suppose to be angry, not suppose to think they r humiliatin our love, cos in the first place they dun think we r puttin in our love..

i dun deny tt i am very stubborn at times, very wilful, but if u r thinkin that i am treatin u like nothing, den that's a great insult to me. den tt's where u went wrong.. how much i love u, there's no way to deny.. heaven knows, u knows i knows.. if u deny tt, den fine, i am speechless..

sometimes i am juz this bored tt i love to crack a joke to see how will u react.. nv once, u react normally.. nv once.. u r always so tense up.. n how do u expect me to believe when u r actin so suspiciously?

ya ya, blame me all u wan for me accusin u or wadever.. if u tink i nv try makin u study, nv put in my effort to help u, n onli UR FRENZ can help u. den tell me, wad r those sunday that i spend hours n hours with u at coffee bean.. r those hours redundant compared to ur time with ur frenz? i am hurt.. not like u disappointed, i am thoroughly hurt..

ya, i am always kickin a big fuss out of nothing.. but hav u ever ask me y? hav u ever ask me wad trigger me to behave like tis? NO! u nv did.. u juz take it as i fa xiao jie pi qi..
n i told u b4 its hard for me to change, n the real me is real troublesome.. u rem how u ans me? u said it doesnt matter wad type of person i am, so long as i love u, u wont mind how or wad i am.. u even told me no matter hpw long i take to change, u will wait for me.. den wad BS is tis now that u said u wont be wakin up beside me in 20 yrs? so all those tok r cock? ok, i finally understand.. tok r juz tok, promise r juz promise.. no one ever say promises r meant to be kept..

yes, u might say i am tryin to frame u or tryin to be unreasonable again, but hey, like u, i am speakin how i feel.. n now i know y u keep askin if my illness will be bak.. coz part of u, i guess juz hold on for the sake of holdin on.. juz hold on coz u pity me, coz u cant take the chance.. if u think tt i hav to lose u b4 i understand, den i guess u r wrong.. i know the feelin of bein dump, not like u who knows the feelin of dumpin ppl.. the ball is not in my court. is urs. i guess u already partially decided wad u wan to do le ba..

i tot u be different, tot u really cld go the distance for me.. but i was very wrong the first moment u told me i am not the first priorities in ur life.. from tt moment on, i knew at times i will be nothin to u.. its juz a matter of time, a matter of when.. u r smart, u like to hav many frenz n dreams.. i am the stupid one, or the naive one.. i tot by givin everythin up for u it will proves how much u meant to me.. but its nv the truth..

with regrets, tears, hurt n a foolish smile
jes

0nce up0n a time... i believed.
|8:47 AM|

Friday, August 10, 2007

hmmm... going oversea in like 2 days time.. going on sunday early early mornin.. well.. going KL, guess i will be shoppin ba.. tryin to entertain meyself, coz i tink i will be bored to death ba.. somehow juz dun feel like going.. i juz missed someone very much.. or i shld say i will miss someone very much.. a part of my life will be missin.. hopefully u will behave, take good care of urself.. make sure u eat n do ur work.. dun get punished again.. exams comin, plz plz study ya? n when u cross roads or wad, plz be careful.. u clumsy one.. yup.. rem ur promise.. rem to msg me when u can k?

well.. tt's so much abt wad i will do ba.. haiz.. so sian.. oh ya.. i was invited to testimonail match or i shld say i invited myself to testimonial match.. haha.. dun ask me how i did.. i was in a state of confusion.. i dun even know wad i did, n till now i dun even get how i won.. lol.. i got silver la.. of course silver.. with sam ard how possible can i win gold? lol.. well.. had a great time.. really great time...

went drivin today.. lol.. theres so much to understand.. n somehow my leg cramp.. lol.. very tense.. n my instructor keep gossipin to me.. lol.. so funny.. n he say i am a fast learner.. maybe second lesson can go onto road le.. yeah!!!.. but den i will hav to wait coz i am going KL till 19 august ba.. hopefully i can be bak earlier.. hmm.. i am so tired, so lonely.. so lost.. so sian ba.. hope things goes well for my bro abt his radiosurgery at KL..

tt's all from me..

0nce up0n a time... i believed.
|8:30 PM|

Monday, July 30, 2007

ppl hav always ask each other y dun u defend urself or even explain urself when u din do anything wrong..
for me, explainin myself to others seems so futile.. explainin to some juz seems like i did somehting wrong n tried to cover up.. thus i decided not to explain n juz keep quiet at times.. since explain or not makes no different, coz in the end i will still be blame over things i din do.. ya.. since theres no diff den y makes tt effort? it happens 3 yrs ago n now it happenin again.. i am too tired to explain.. since u listen to others n agree its my fault, den ok, i got nothing to say.. den take it as everything is my fault.. u r right, no o ne in this world cld be trusted, not even the one u think can be trusted, not even the one u loved.. not even the one u respect.. n now, or i shld say recently, i juz felt tt i am being used.. both in the past n the present.. i'm juz so tired over all the things tt happenin now..

U expect me to understand all the things tt happen when i dun even get to c it.. U expect me to give U freedom yet blame me for not carin for U.. U expect me to be ur gf when u dun even share the little things with me.. U expect me to trust u when in the first place u doubted my heart my love.. U expect me to understand n smile when u secretly send things to ur ex n share our little secret tt was meant to be between us with ur best frenz.. U trust ur frenz more den me.. n almost ALL, or is it all of ur frenz asked him to leave me.. n i am expected to treat it as nothing..

yes, we r no longer in our honeymoon period.. coz U no longer had tt flame in ur eyes.. U no longer spend tt enough time n effort with me.. ur frenz words meant more den me.. u wld plan a long time b4hand for ur frenz bday but seems to totally forget abt our anniversary.. u expect everything to tell u b4hand but always tell me things last min n expect me to go out.. n U juz got so unhappy when things dun go his way.. n recently, wadever i do u juz got so angry n unhappy with me.. raisin voice at me, n even forgotten my existence at times ba..

i dun really care wad ppl do to me in the past, usin me or back stabbin me.. wad matters now i s u.. but even u, even u seems like toyin with me.. coz u expect me to be free when u r free.. u onli care abt ur time, but not abt others.. u onli come find me when u needed me, when u feel vulnerable, when u are scared.. u nv needed me juz bcoz of love.. juz bcoz u love me n want me by ur side.. u need me at times.. not want me..

recently i am juz too tired to quarrel.. too tired to explain to u.. i already give u wad u wan.. wad more do u wan from me?

maybe we were not meant together.. think carefully.. we r gettin no where recently.. do u need me or want me? do u love or like everyone else juz usin me?

0nce up0n a time... i believed.
|7:38 PM|

l0ve ishh a big illusi0n ``i shld try t0 f0rget.

My life

The greatest distance on earth is not between life and death, but yet when I stand in front of you, and u still don’t know that I love you…
If I choose to follow my destiny, will u be there for me?
If I died tonight, I go with no regrets..
If it is in your arms, I know that I was blessed..
And if your eyes are the last thing that I see then I know the beauty heaven holds for me..

navigati0ns are
teh heart f0ll0wed by teh w0rds [``has][never``][``change]

* l0ve ishh n0rt b0ut finding s0me0ne y0u cann live with__
budd findin s0meone y0u cant live with0ut.